Scratching the Surface but I can't Break Through

I played my longest session of the year today. I got in 19 tourneys. I only moneyed 2 of them, but I did Final Table one - the $130 Sniper on UB. I ended up in 4th for just over $2500 but I still wanted to bash my head into the wall because I went out on a horrible cooler.


***** Hand History for Game 164564175 ***** (Absolute)
Tourney Hand NL Texas Hold'em - Tuesday, April 27, 12:27:41 ET 2010
Table Tournament 5209564 Table 38 (Real Money)
Seat 2 is the button
Seat 2: FUTUREPROQQ ( $309895.00 USD )
Seat 5: WELCOMEME ( $99170.00 USD )
Seat 6: CHARDRIAN ( $272300.00 USD )
Seat 7: DISK0STU ( $212635.00 USD )
FUTUREPROQQ posts ante of [$600.00 USD].
WELCOMEME posts ante of [$600.00 USD].
CHARDRIAN posts ante of [$600.00 USD].
DISK0STU posts ante of [$600.00 USD].
WELCOMEME posts small blind [$3000.00 USD].
CHARDRIAN posts big blind [$6000.00 USD].
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to CHARDRIAN [ 3c Ac ]
DISK0STU raises [$15000.00 USD]
FUTUREPROQQ folds
WELCOMEME folds
CHARDRIAN calls [$9000.00 USD]
** Dealing Flop ** [ 3d, 3s, 2h ]
CHARDRIAN checks
DISK0STU bets [$24000.00 USD]
CHARDRIAN calls [$24000.00 USD]
** Dealing Turn ** [ 8h ]
CHARDRIAN checks
DISK0STU checks
** Dealing River ** [ 9h ]
CHARDRIAN bets [$44200.00 USD]
DISK0STU raises [$173035.00 USD]
CHARDRIAN calls [$128835.00 USD]
DISK0STU shows [4h, Ah ]
DISK0STU wins $429470.00 USD from main pot
CHARDRIAN shows [3c, Ac ]

I feel like I am playing so well. And I feel like I keep getting super close to decent scores... but then it just doesn't pan out. If I win that tourney instead of going out in 4th I win over $8k and get back to breakeven for the year. Instead I take another retarded ankle grabbing hand. I am still down close to $6k for the year and I continue to feel like I am drowning.

I know a lot of it is still just a lack of volume. This month is another example since I took so much time off for the Costa Rica vacation I have only played 129 tourneys for the month. So I am going to try to keep it in high gear the next 3 days and at least get close to my 200 tourney goal for the month.

Hopefully, (pretty pretty please?) the pokergods will soon shine on my hairy ass and give me that one glorious score and then life will be back to being peachy.