I put in another small session last night, got somewhat deep in the 75k on Tilt, took a bad beat and went on lifetilt for a little bit. But all in all I feel really really good about my game. I have made some minor tweaks to my game which I feel are giving me the best opportunity not only to make the money but also to get really deep in every tourney I play.
I have also been watching a lot of poker on tv and there are just more and more obvious live tells that I am picking up that I am really looking forward to playing lots of live poker next month.
My group of internet kids have been giving me a hard time about my recent lack of volume, but I am fine with it. I am still going to get my 200 tourneys in this month. I am going to book a profitable month. And I am heading to Vegas with a really good mindset and super eager to play. I know the odds are against me, but I feel like I have a real good shot of making some deep runs and maybe even winning a bracelet.
My plan for the next couple of days is simply to hang out with my wife, clean the house so it is spotless for her before I leave. put in a Sunday session, and then head for the desert on Tuesday.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Small Session; Small Score
I played an evening session and made the money in 5 of the 8 tourneys I played and managed to eke out an 8th place in a $27 tourney on Stars for a small profit for the day. It is always a little disappointing to not finish a tourney off, but I really like how I am playing and feel like I am in a real good mindframe heading towards the world series.
Monday, May 24, 2010
Just Being Super Lazy
I haven't played a session since last Tuesday. I played my home game last Friday; I have put in a couple of coaching sessions; and I have been doing quite a bit of math poker theory calculations so it's not like I am just giving up on the game. I just haven't felt the mojo so I am not playing.
Friday, May 21, 2010
Getting Pumped for the WSOP
I was asked to write a preview of the WSOP which was published on Pocket5s. I am definitely getting amped to go to Vegas and try and win a bracelet but I also know that the daily live grind in Vegas can get real old real fast. After grinding really hard at the beginning of this month achieving my 200 tourney goal for the month will be relatively easy so I have put in very very little volume this week. I probably won't be putting in that much next week either because I really want to make sure that every session I play is a quality as close to mistake free session as possible to put me in the right mindset for the WSOP.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Sooooooooooo Close
Full Tilt absolutely sucks balls for me this year. I thought I might break through today, but instead I got 10th, yes the Final Table Bubble Boy in the $60k.
I really really liked how I played, but I did not get the luck I needed to carry me through. I folded 88 when we were 5 handed facing a 12 BB shove and a 20 BB reshove when I had 16 BBs. My opps had AK and AJ and I would have held and made the final table with a good stack if I had called. Very next hand I shove K7s into the BB who had only 11 BBs and he calls with A4s and holds. Now I am decimated down to 4 BBs but I pick up TT the very next hand only to lose to AK.
And the what ifs are running rampant in my head. What if I had called with the 88 - I would have a good chance at winning the tourney. What if my K7s or TT had held? I would at least get back to even for the year. What if I didn't run worse than a 3 legged sloth?
I know the what if game is frutiless - I played well, that's all that matters. But that just sounds like a bunch of blah blah meow chow when I was that close to another 5 figure score only to brick out yet again.
End rant/
I really really liked how I played, but I did not get the luck I needed to carry me through. I folded 88 when we were 5 handed facing a 12 BB shove and a 20 BB reshove when I had 16 BBs. My opps had AK and AJ and I would have held and made the final table with a good stack if I had called. Very next hand I shove K7s into the BB who had only 11 BBs and he calls with A4s and holds. Now I am decimated down to 4 BBs but I pick up TT the very next hand only to lose to AK.
And the what ifs are running rampant in my head. What if I had called with the 88 - I would have a good chance at winning the tourney. What if my K7s or TT had held? I would at least get back to even for the year. What if I didn't run worse than a 3 legged sloth?
I know the what if game is frutiless - I played well, that's all that matters. But that just sounds like a bunch of blah blah meow chow when I was that close to another 5 figure score only to brick out yet again.
End rant/
Monday, May 17, 2010
Confidence
Poker is dumb. It really is. This year has just been retarded in the swinginess. I win a tourney and I feel like I am one of the poker elite; I go on a downswing and I feel like maybe the game is passing me by...
And then I take a day off to just relax and sort things out and things recrystalize in my head that my game isn't about my numbers, it's really about making correct decisions. If people were to look up my stats this year, they would say "how can this guy be a professional when he is losing money for the year?" If I had won that tourney last night or if I had won any of those many tourneys where I finished 10-15th this year those same people would be looking at my stats and saying "wow that chardrian is such a consistent winner - how does he do it?"
One hand here, one hand there, really can and does make such a difference but people (including myself) don't think that way. All we think about is the bottom line. And when I am downswinging it makes it that much harder to think about anything other than the bottom line because I start stressing about my bankroll vanishing between monthly withdrawals for bills and from lack of wins. The beauty of my cash last night is that it gives me some breathing room to start focusing on the decision making again instead of focusing so much on the money.
And then I take a day off to just relax and sort things out and things recrystalize in my head that my game isn't about my numbers, it's really about making correct decisions. If people were to look up my stats this year, they would say "how can this guy be a professional when he is losing money for the year?" If I had won that tourney last night or if I had won any of those many tourneys where I finished 10-15th this year those same people would be looking at my stats and saying "wow that chardrian is such a consistent winner - how does he do it?"
One hand here, one hand there, really can and does make such a difference but people (including myself) don't think that way. All we think about is the bottom line. And when I am downswinging it makes it that much harder to think about anything other than the bottom line because I start stressing about my bankroll vanishing between monthly withdrawals for bills and from lack of wins. The beauty of my cash last night is that it gives me some breathing room to start focusing on the decision making again instead of focusing so much on the money.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Phew
A huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I got 3rd in the UB/AP 200k for just over $18k and the downswing is once again over.
This actually does not quite get me out of the hole for the year, but it is much much closer. This Sunday was going to be my last day playing the Sunday majors on my own dime so this score gives me a little leeway again.
I am a little disappointed that I didn't take it down and the only big mistake I made was probably on my last hand and even that wasn't that big since I had a pocket pair and we were 3 handed (I ended up jamming 22 vs a 3-bet from the chip-leader).
Tomorrow I will just settle back in, clean up the house, and then grind it up again the rest of this month but with much less stress.
This actually does not quite get me out of the hole for the year, but it is much much closer. This Sunday was going to be my last day playing the Sunday majors on my own dime so this score gives me a little leeway again.
I am a little disappointed that I didn't take it down and the only big mistake I made was probably on my last hand and even that wasn't that big since I had a pocket pair and we were 3 handed (I ended up jamming 22 vs a 3-bet from the chip-leader).
Tomorrow I will just settle back in, clean up the house, and then grind it up again the rest of this month but with much less stress.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
I don't want to post another sigh post but...
any other post would be a lie. I got 6th in a $55 FO on UB where I played poorly at the Final Table because I was just over aggressive. I then got 12th in the $26 Knockout on FullTilt for like $200 when 1st was over $7k and wanted to go totally emo and slit my wrists.
I am going to withdraw my money for this month and next month today since I won't be around in June so my bankroll is back to the lowest it has been in a long long time.
I did get a workout in this morning, so at least something is going well. I am not sure how much more I can take of my poker brutality.
I am going to withdraw my money for this month and next month today since I won't be around in June so my bankroll is back to the lowest it has been in a long long time.
I did get a workout in this morning, so at least something is going well. I am not sure how much more I can take of my poker brutality.
Sunday, May 09, 2010
Time to Refocus
I don't feel like my game has regressed at all but I do feel like this year of repetitive downswings has made me focus way way too much on poker and not enough on anything else. I haven't been working out, I haven't been keeping the house as clean as I should... All I've really been doing is playing poker, posting advice on poker forums, getting frustrated when I run like poo, relaxing by sitting in front of the tv and then repeating the cycle.
So it's time to break the cycle. My wife signed us up recently for a membership at a local fitness center, so tomorrow I am heading there first thing before I do anything else. I will still be getting my poker hours in, but it't time for me to stop obsessing about it.
So it's time to break the cycle. My wife signed us up recently for a membership at a local fitness center, so tomorrow I am heading there first thing before I do anything else. I will still be getting my poker hours in, but it't time for me to stop obsessing about it.
Thursday, May 06, 2010
A day in my life
I stayed up late last night watching tv, going to the grocery store, putting gas in my wife's car, etc. So I didn't wake up today until like 11:30. I roll out of bed, into the shower, come out and it's time to register for my tourneys.
I register for 8 tourneys fire up my Hold'em Manager, put in a cd, jump onto vent where I commiserate with a poker buddy of mine who is downswinging like me and also get kicked in the ass by another buddy who basically tells us to stop whining like the emo bitches that we are.
I play some poker. I am playing 3 tourneys to start and quickly make a bad bluff in the $163 on Tilt and lose half my stack. I shake it off and in 30 minutes my next tourney pops up. 1 hour in and I have built up a stack in my $26 knockout, have doubled up in my $55 FO on stars have just stayed even on my other $55 tourney on Tilt.
Next hour starts and 3 more tourneys pop up. I quickly lose a ton of flips in the $10 rebuy on stars and 10 minutes into the 2nd hour of my play I am a casualty in the $163 which I lose a 40/60 when I shove my short stack with KTs and get called by AQ. So I am now down to 6 tables.
About 1/2 hour later I make my second mistake of the day when I get it in 45 BBs deep with 99. I was in a bad frame of mind and fell back into putting my opponent on one hand (AK) when in fact his range was more like JJ+/AK and he did indeed have KK. So I am out of the $55 FO on Tilt and now I'm down to 5 tourneys.
I go into the 2nd break of the day with a decent stack in the $26 KO; a good stack in the $162 on stars; a nice stack in the $10 rebuy (although I did have to rebuy 5 times; and average stacks in the $55 and $75 tourneys on Tilt.
I start the 3rd hour of play with the $265 SCOOP event on Stars popping up and I am back to 6 tourneys. Very quickly I am down to 5 tourneys when my TT loses a "race" to AQ in the $26 KO and then the standard clusterfuck happens: I lose a good chunk of my stack in the $162 on Stars when my AQ loses to KT and then I'm out a couple of hands later when TT loses to AK; in the $10 rebuy my TT loses to A7 and then ten minutes later my AT loses to 99 and I'm out; in the $55 FO on Stars I c/shove a guy with fold equity with AdJd on a QdKd2x flop and he snap calls me with QTo and I brick out.
So now as I shake my head and question really and truly "is this real?" I am down to 2 tourneys - the Scoop on stars and the $75 FO on Tilt.
I play both of these tourneys well, and chip up a bit in each.
The next hour I raise AJs in the $75 FO and am unable to fold on an AA7 flop when my opp has 77. And then I make my last mistake of the day when I am already in my fuck-it mode and get it in 100 BBs deep in the scoop when I flopped top two pair and my opp had the top set.
So a little less than 4 hours of play, -$918 and still left shaking my head. The one good thing of my review of the day is that I can see that I am making mistakes and I need to stop doing so. Tourneys now are so much about playing mistake free so that you can allow the run good to hit you in those few tourneys that you do get semi-deep in. By making mistakes I am just not letting myself get there.
Now it's time to eat some food, walk the dog, and get back to it tonight.
I register for 8 tourneys fire up my Hold'em Manager, put in a cd, jump onto vent where I commiserate with a poker buddy of mine who is downswinging like me and also get kicked in the ass by another buddy who basically tells us to stop whining like the emo bitches that we are.
I play some poker. I am playing 3 tourneys to start and quickly make a bad bluff in the $163 on Tilt and lose half my stack. I shake it off and in 30 minutes my next tourney pops up. 1 hour in and I have built up a stack in my $26 knockout, have doubled up in my $55 FO on stars have just stayed even on my other $55 tourney on Tilt.
Next hour starts and 3 more tourneys pop up. I quickly lose a ton of flips in the $10 rebuy on stars and 10 minutes into the 2nd hour of my play I am a casualty in the $163 which I lose a 40/60 when I shove my short stack with KTs and get called by AQ. So I am now down to 6 tables.
About 1/2 hour later I make my second mistake of the day when I get it in 45 BBs deep with 99. I was in a bad frame of mind and fell back into putting my opponent on one hand (AK) when in fact his range was more like JJ+/AK and he did indeed have KK. So I am out of the $55 FO on Tilt and now I'm down to 5 tourneys.
I go into the 2nd break of the day with a decent stack in the $26 KO; a good stack in the $162 on stars; a nice stack in the $10 rebuy (although I did have to rebuy 5 times; and average stacks in the $55 and $75 tourneys on Tilt.
I start the 3rd hour of play with the $265 SCOOP event on Stars popping up and I am back to 6 tourneys. Very quickly I am down to 5 tourneys when my TT loses a "race" to AQ in the $26 KO and then the standard clusterfuck happens: I lose a good chunk of my stack in the $162 on Stars when my AQ loses to KT and then I'm out a couple of hands later when TT loses to AK; in the $10 rebuy my TT loses to A7 and then ten minutes later my AT loses to 99 and I'm out; in the $55 FO on Stars I c/shove a guy with fold equity with AdJd on a QdKd2x flop and he snap calls me with QTo and I brick out.
So now as I shake my head and question really and truly "is this real?" I am down to 2 tourneys - the Scoop on stars and the $75 FO on Tilt.
I play both of these tourneys well, and chip up a bit in each.
The next hour I raise AJs in the $75 FO and am unable to fold on an AA7 flop when my opp has 77. And then I make my last mistake of the day when I am already in my fuck-it mode and get it in 100 BBs deep in the scoop when I flopped top two pair and my opp had the top set.
So a little less than 4 hours of play, -$918 and still left shaking my head. The one good thing of my review of the day is that I can see that I am making mistakes and I need to stop doing so. Tourneys now are so much about playing mistake free so that you can allow the run good to hit you in those few tourneys that you do get semi-deep in. By making mistakes I am just not letting myself get there.
Now it's time to eat some food, walk the dog, and get back to it tonight.
Wednesday, May 05, 2010
as;dkjjasjfjawv!
11th in the afternoon $163 FO on Tilt. Both 1st and 2nd would have brought me out of the hole for the year. 11th barely made me positive for the day. So guess what? I'm frustrated - crazy stuff I know.
Tuesday, May 04, 2010
Just the facts
Since Adil doesn't like me being emo, I will just state the facts from today.
16 tourneys, 4 cashes, 1 Final Table = -$702 for the day.
Back at it tomorrow.
16 tourneys, 4 cashes, 1 Final Table = -$702 for the day.
Back at it tomorrow.
Monday, May 03, 2010
Reflection was good, results still are not good
I played a weird session today because I did a lesson at the same time that I played a few tourneys this afternoon. I busted those relatively early all in standard spots, and then I was going to play a long session tonight, but I actually ended up getting somewhat deep in 4 of the 10 tourneys I played tonight so I just played those ten and that was it.
I made one big mistake when we were down to 14 players left in a UB tourney I was in which will definitely haunt me for a while. I was just tilted and tired of getting bad beat/coolered yet again today so I raised from EP w/AQ and then just 4-bet jammed some guy with no fold equity after he 3-bet me when it was pretty clear that at the absolute best I was like 45/55. I have made it a priority to not punt tourneys no matter what, so punting that one was just retarded - especially since making the FT probably would have given me a profitable day and going out in 14th gave me another in a long string of losing days.
I thought I had left that aspect of my play in the dust, but the non-thinking, hand on the mouse, insta "eat it" tilt monkey definitely returned on that hand. Usually my remedy would be to "take some time off." But I need to win some money, and I can't win without playing, so I will just keep on grinding.
I made one big mistake when we were down to 14 players left in a UB tourney I was in which will definitely haunt me for a while. I was just tilted and tired of getting bad beat/coolered yet again today so I raised from EP w/AQ and then just 4-bet jammed some guy with no fold equity after he 3-bet me when it was pretty clear that at the absolute best I was like 45/55. I have made it a priority to not punt tourneys no matter what, so punting that one was just retarded - especially since making the FT probably would have given me a profitable day and going out in 14th gave me another in a long string of losing days.
I thought I had left that aspect of my play in the dust, but the non-thinking, hand on the mouse, insta "eat it" tilt monkey definitely returned on that hand. Usually my remedy would be to "take some time off." But I need to win some money, and I can't win without playing, so I will just keep on grinding.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Rinse, Repeat... and time to Reflect
It's funny. I did my number crunching for the end of the month and compared it to last year and then I decided to go back and read some of my blog posts from last year and I am definitely still whining about the same stuff this year that I was last year. The difference this year is that I am actually losing money on the year and have a negative ROI for the year, whereas last year I was just whining about going on a downswing even though I never was actually down for the year.
I guess no matter what I can find something to whine about.
So 4 months into the year and it's a good time to review. I have had two barely winning months, one barely losing month, and one huge losing month. It just has been a super bad year so far. Last month I was able to just eke myself back to even but since then I am down like 9k again so I am down a total of about 9k for the year. Volumewise I am on pace to play the most amount of tourneys that I have ever played. Last year was my high and I only played 1326 tourneys. I am already at 732 this year so I should smash last year's record.
The big bad things that are happening to me this year are: 1) my final table percentage is much lower than it usually is; 2) even when I make final tables my top 3 percentage is way way down as well; and 3) I am just not anywhere as consistent as I have been in the past. My biggest downswing last year was like 8k and I only did that once. This year I have had a 20k downswing and I am now in the midst of a 9k swoon. So I've never gone through these depths before and I am really not enjoying it.
I am taking tomorrow off just to stop thinking about this mess and then I will be back at it this weekend. I expect to put in a lot of volume in May before I head off to the WSOP so all I can do is keep playing well and hope that a huge upswing hits me soon.
I guess no matter what I can find something to whine about.
So 4 months into the year and it's a good time to review. I have had two barely winning months, one barely losing month, and one huge losing month. It just has been a super bad year so far. Last month I was able to just eke myself back to even but since then I am down like 9k again so I am down a total of about 9k for the year. Volumewise I am on pace to play the most amount of tourneys that I have ever played. Last year was my high and I only played 1326 tourneys. I am already at 732 this year so I should smash last year's record.
The big bad things that are happening to me this year are: 1) my final table percentage is much lower than it usually is; 2) even when I make final tables my top 3 percentage is way way down as well; and 3) I am just not anywhere as consistent as I have been in the past. My biggest downswing last year was like 8k and I only did that once. This year I have had a 20k downswing and I am now in the midst of a 9k swoon. So I've never gone through these depths before and I am really not enjoying it.
I am taking tomorrow off just to stop thinking about this mess and then I will be back at it this weekend. I expect to put in a lot of volume in May before I head off to the WSOP so all I can do is keep playing well and hope that a huge upswing hits me soon.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Still bleeding but feeling better
Wednesdays are now very much like Sundays in that there are lots of decent staked tourneys which means you can easily average over $100 per tourney. I played 18 today and paid a total of $2121. Lots of the tourneys I played had huge payouts for the top 3, but if you don't make a final table you end up losing for the day. Standard stuff. I moneyed 3 tourneys and lost like $1k for the day.
Lately my nights have ended with me bitching and moaning about my luck. But tonight for whatever reason I felt very calm. Frustrated for sure, but I just feel very secure in the knowledge that I am playing very well. I am not spewing, I am not pressing, I am adjusting to my opponents and just playing my spots and my cards really well. I simply am not getting there when I need to get there. But playing the what if game is simply sucking my soul out. I can keep playing well and putting myself in position to get that big score and eventually it will come... or it won't. But there is nothing I can do about that. So I am just going to continue to play well and let whatever happens happen.
I have finally withdrawn all of my money for the WSOP and the majority of my stakers money as well. With the combination of my monthly withdrawals for bills, my withdrawal for the WSOP, and my overall losing year so far my bankroll has taken quite a hit. I am no longer rolled to play the $300 tourneys, so tonight's quarter million was my last hurrah (I got 83rd) until I am able to juice the roll back up. These next couple of weeks will determine whether or not I am able to keep playing the Sunday majors on my own dime or if I am going to have to stake myself out for those as well. But since all I can do is play my best and see what happens, that is exactly what I am going to do.
Lately my nights have ended with me bitching and moaning about my luck. But tonight for whatever reason I felt very calm. Frustrated for sure, but I just feel very secure in the knowledge that I am playing very well. I am not spewing, I am not pressing, I am adjusting to my opponents and just playing my spots and my cards really well. I simply am not getting there when I need to get there. But playing the what if game is simply sucking my soul out. I can keep playing well and putting myself in position to get that big score and eventually it will come... or it won't. But there is nothing I can do about that. So I am just going to continue to play well and let whatever happens happen.
I have finally withdrawn all of my money for the WSOP and the majority of my stakers money as well. With the combination of my monthly withdrawals for bills, my withdrawal for the WSOP, and my overall losing year so far my bankroll has taken quite a hit. I am no longer rolled to play the $300 tourneys, so tonight's quarter million was my last hurrah (I got 83rd) until I am able to juice the roll back up. These next couple of weeks will determine whether or not I am able to keep playing the Sunday majors on my own dime or if I am going to have to stake myself out for those as well. But since all I can do is play my best and see what happens, that is exactly what I am going to do.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Still bumbling around
Another long session. Another frustrating day. I got 24th in the 100k and 11th in another tourney on UB. Ended up losing basically exactly the profit I made yesterday. I'll keep at it tomorrow.
Scratching the Surface but I can't Break Through
I played my longest session of the year today. I got in 19 tourneys. I only moneyed 2 of them, but I did Final Table one - the $130 Sniper on UB. I ended up in 4th for just over $2500 but I still wanted to bash my head into the wall because I went out on a horrible cooler.
***** Hand History for Game 164564175 ***** (Absolute)
Tourney Hand NL Texas Hold'em - Tuesday, April 27, 12:27:41 ET 2010
Table Tournament 5209564 Table 38 (Real Money)
Seat 2 is the button
Seat 2: FUTUREPROQQ ( $309895.00 USD )
Seat 5: WELCOMEME ( $99170.00 USD )
Seat 6: CHARDRIAN ( $272300.00 USD )
Seat 7: DISK0STU ( $212635.00 USD )
FUTUREPROQQ posts ante of [$600.00 USD].
WELCOMEME posts ante of [$600.00 USD].
CHARDRIAN posts ante of [$600.00 USD].
DISK0STU posts ante of [$600.00 USD].
WELCOMEME posts small blind [$3000.00 USD].
CHARDRIAN posts big blind [$6000.00 USD].
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to CHARDRIAN [ 3c Ac ]
DISK0STU raises [$15000.00 USD]
FUTUREPROQQ folds
WELCOMEME folds
CHARDRIAN calls [$9000.00 USD]
** Dealing Flop ** [ 3d, 3s, 2h ]
CHARDRIAN checks
DISK0STU bets [$24000.00 USD]
CHARDRIAN calls [$24000.00 USD]
** Dealing Turn ** [ 8h ]
CHARDRIAN checks
DISK0STU checks
** Dealing River ** [ 9h ]
CHARDRIAN bets [$44200.00 USD]
DISK0STU raises [$173035.00 USD]
CHARDRIAN calls [$128835.00 USD]
DISK0STU shows [4h, Ah ]
DISK0STU wins $429470.00 USD from main pot
CHARDRIAN shows [3c, Ac ]
I feel like I am playing so well. And I feel like I keep getting super close to decent scores... but then it just doesn't pan out. If I win that tourney instead of going out in 4th I win over $8k and get back to breakeven for the year. Instead I take another retarded ankle grabbing hand. I am still down close to $6k for the year and I continue to feel like I am drowning.
I know a lot of it is still just a lack of volume. This month is another example since I took so much time off for the Costa Rica vacation I have only played 129 tourneys for the month. So I am going to try to keep it in high gear the next 3 days and at least get close to my 200 tourney goal for the month.
Hopefully, (pretty pretty please?) the pokergods will soon shine on my hairy ass and give me that one glorious score and then life will be back to being peachy.
***** Hand History for Game 164564175 ***** (Absolute)
Tourney Hand NL Texas Hold'em - Tuesday, April 27, 12:27:41 ET 2010
Table Tournament 5209564 Table 38 (Real Money)
Seat 2 is the button
Seat 2: FUTUREPROQQ ( $309895.00 USD )
Seat 5: WELCOMEME ( $99170.00 USD )
Seat 6: CHARDRIAN ( $272300.00 USD )
Seat 7: DISK0STU ( $212635.00 USD )
FUTUREPROQQ posts ante of [$600.00 USD].
WELCOMEME posts ante of [$600.00 USD].
CHARDRIAN posts ante of [$600.00 USD].
DISK0STU posts ante of [$600.00 USD].
WELCOMEME posts small blind [$3000.00 USD].
CHARDRIAN posts big blind [$6000.00 USD].
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to CHARDRIAN [ 3c Ac ]
DISK0STU raises [$15000.00 USD]
FUTUREPROQQ folds
WELCOMEME folds
CHARDRIAN calls [$9000.00 USD]
** Dealing Flop ** [ 3d, 3s, 2h ]
CHARDRIAN checks
DISK0STU bets [$24000.00 USD]
CHARDRIAN calls [$24000.00 USD]
** Dealing Turn ** [ 8h ]
CHARDRIAN checks
DISK0STU checks
** Dealing River ** [ 9h ]
CHARDRIAN bets [$44200.00 USD]
DISK0STU raises [$173035.00 USD]
CHARDRIAN calls [$128835.00 USD]
DISK0STU shows [4h, Ah ]
DISK0STU wins $429470.00 USD from main pot
CHARDRIAN shows [3c, Ac ]
I feel like I am playing so well. And I feel like I keep getting super close to decent scores... but then it just doesn't pan out. If I win that tourney instead of going out in 4th I win over $8k and get back to breakeven for the year. Instead I take another retarded ankle grabbing hand. I am still down close to $6k for the year and I continue to feel like I am drowning.
I know a lot of it is still just a lack of volume. This month is another example since I took so much time off for the Costa Rica vacation I have only played 129 tourneys for the month. So I am going to try to keep it in high gear the next 3 days and at least get close to my 200 tourney goal for the month.
Hopefully, (pretty pretty please?) the pokergods will soon shine on my hairy ass and give me that one glorious score and then life will be back to being peachy.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Ready to pack it in
I just got 13th in the UB 200k and am ready to off myself so be prepared that this will be one hell of a whine coming up.
I started the day stadardly, got deep in some stuff, AA got cracked in 4 different tourneys, KK cracked in another same ole same ole. But then I managed to get deep in the UB tourney and with less than 25 left I was strongly in 2nd place. I even allowed myself to look at the payouts and dream of a big payday because maybe just maybe my curse was finally going to end today. 1st place was 45k, 2md place was over 25k, and even 5th place was over 11k. I was on my way - I could pull myself out of the hole for the year and then some.
And then everything goes to complete and utter shit. AQ runs into a short super aggro's KK. I have to raise/fold 88 against a nit who never 3-bet. After waiting 3 orbits with nothing I finally get JJ and everyone folds. I now find myself with just 15 BBs and absolutely no opportunities to do anything and I pick up 79o and reshove it against a similar stacksize who was on the looser side and of course he wakes up with AK and out like trout I go in 13th.
The frustrating thing is that I keep getting so damn close and then just CAN NOT FINISH! And it is starting to eat me up inside. I know I am just one decent score from all of this being a thing in the past - but each time I get a glimpse of that score coming and then it doesn't materialize is just mind-bogglingly frustrating.
I started the day stadardly, got deep in some stuff, AA got cracked in 4 different tourneys, KK cracked in another same ole same ole. But then I managed to get deep in the UB tourney and with less than 25 left I was strongly in 2nd place. I even allowed myself to look at the payouts and dream of a big payday because maybe just maybe my curse was finally going to end today. 1st place was 45k, 2md place was over 25k, and even 5th place was over 11k. I was on my way - I could pull myself out of the hole for the year and then some.
And then everything goes to complete and utter shit. AQ runs into a short super aggro's KK. I have to raise/fold 88 against a nit who never 3-bet. After waiting 3 orbits with nothing I finally get JJ and everyone folds. I now find myself with just 15 BBs and absolutely no opportunities to do anything and I pick up 79o and reshove it against a similar stacksize who was on the looser side and of course he wakes up with AK and out like trout I go in 13th.
The frustrating thing is that I keep getting so damn close and then just CAN NOT FINISH! And it is starting to eat me up inside. I know I am just one decent score from all of this being a thing in the past - but each time I get a glimpse of that score coming and then it doesn't materialize is just mind-bogglingly frustrating.
Friday, April 23, 2010
Yucky
Poker is back to being not very nice to me. I have actually had deep runs pretty much every session I have played since I have been back, but I just keep losing crucial hands deep in tourneys.
Tuesday was a lost race at the final table (AK
I am going to play in my live game tonight and just have fun, and then will be back at it on Sunday.
Tuesday was a lost race at the final table (AK
I am going to play in my live game tonight and just have fun, and then will be back at it on Sunday.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Costa Rica Trip Report
Ok so for those that don't know, my mom, although a gringa, was raised in Costa Rica because my grandpa had a farm/worked other odd jobs there. I went once as a kid when I was around 8 on a family trip, but other than that time I haven't been back. In that time my grandparents have passed away and the farm has been sold to an organization that now runs it the property as an ecotourism/research center as a rainforest reserve (my grandpa set aside a large portion of his land to preserve rather then to farm and even the portion he did farm has quickly been devoured by the "green monster" that is the rainforest.) So I was excited to go back and see Costa Rica with my mom as our tour guide.
First of all, I was super impressed with the country itself. I lived for over 2 years in Guatemala as a Peace Corps volunteer and although they may be close in distance, in terms of development, safety, healthcare, education, income, etc. they are two totally different countries. The roads in Costa Rica are paved and clean, people obey traffic laws and stay in their own obviously demarcated lanes. I love Guatemala and would encourage people to visit, but it is definitely a "3rd world/developing" country. Costa Rica may not be fully to the level that the U.S. is but it is at least pretty damn close.
Anyhoo, our itinerary consisted of arriving in San Jose, spending the night at a nice hotel there and then the next day we rented a car and headed off to Sarapiqui to visit my grandpa's old farm which is now The Tirimbina Rainforest Center. My mom couldn't understand why the car rental guy and the hotel front desk were giving her directions to go the "long way" to Sarapiqui when she wanted to go the short route, so we decided to wing it and we were able to navigate our way out of the capital and onto the route that my mom always took when she was growing up. Unfortunately they were doing massive road work on this "short cut" so the road was often unpaved. Then when we got like 2/3 of the way there we pass a sign that says road closed due to some earthquake. However we did see some cars coming up that road so at that point our choices were to head all the way back to San Jose and then start over taking the "long route" or just go for it and hope for the best. We ended up going for it and made it unscathed but with nerves frayed as the road was extremely treacherous with a couple of river crossings, huge potholes, slippery muddy spots, and huge embankments/cliffs on the side of the road with no guard rails to stop us.
Once we got there, we were impressed with what we found. The rooms were simple but nice, especially for being essentially in the middle of a rainforest. The showers were hot, they had internet access, and the food was very well done with a full bar.
We went on a couple of tours (the chocolate tour and a nighttime tour), had to cross the hanging bridge over the Sarapiqui river (I don't like heights but made it), and basically just had a good time hanging out with each other. We saw toucans, a monkey, lots of frogs, and these small, cute white bats.
We only spent a couple of days in the rainforest and then we headed back to San Jose (this time taking the recommended route) where we hopped on a puddle jumper plane and headed to the beach at Tamarindo. Tamarindo has exploded in the past decade - when my mom first went there was only one "real" hotel. Now there are lots and lots of hotels, fast food, car rental places. It is a gorgeous spot on the Pacific Ocean which is a big surfer hangout. We stayed at a more upscale hotel called the Capitan Suizo which is super duper eco friendly so it was almost like living in a zoo. Iguanas, monkeys, racoons, and lots of different birds all hung out by the pool. The hotel is on the outskirts of town at the end of the beach so we basically had the beach to ourselves where we could boogie board, lay by the pool, and again just relax. Which we did. My sister and her two kids met us there and we had fun just hanging out and relaxing. The only bad thing I can say about the trip was just that it was too short.
First of all, I was super impressed with the country itself. I lived for over 2 years in Guatemala as a Peace Corps volunteer and although they may be close in distance, in terms of development, safety, healthcare, education, income, etc. they are two totally different countries. The roads in Costa Rica are paved and clean, people obey traffic laws and stay in their own obviously demarcated lanes. I love Guatemala and would encourage people to visit, but it is definitely a "3rd world/developing" country. Costa Rica may not be fully to the level that the U.S. is but it is at least pretty damn close.
Anyhoo, our itinerary consisted of arriving in San Jose, spending the night at a nice hotel there and then the next day we rented a car and headed off to Sarapiqui to visit my grandpa's old farm which is now The Tirimbina Rainforest Center. My mom couldn't understand why the car rental guy and the hotel front desk were giving her directions to go the "long way" to Sarapiqui when she wanted to go the short route, so we decided to wing it and we were able to navigate our way out of the capital and onto the route that my mom always took when she was growing up. Unfortunately they were doing massive road work on this "short cut" so the road was often unpaved. Then when we got like 2/3 of the way there we pass a sign that says road closed due to some earthquake. However we did see some cars coming up that road so at that point our choices were to head all the way back to San Jose and then start over taking the "long route" or just go for it and hope for the best. We ended up going for it and made it unscathed but with nerves frayed as the road was extremely treacherous with a couple of river crossings, huge potholes, slippery muddy spots, and huge embankments/cliffs on the side of the road with no guard rails to stop us.
Once we got there, we were impressed with what we found. The rooms were simple but nice, especially for being essentially in the middle of a rainforest. The showers were hot, they had internet access, and the food was very well done with a full bar.
We went on a couple of tours (the chocolate tour and a nighttime tour), had to cross the hanging bridge over the Sarapiqui river (I don't like heights but made it), and basically just had a good time hanging out with each other. We saw toucans, a monkey, lots of frogs, and these small, cute white bats.
We only spent a couple of days in the rainforest and then we headed back to San Jose (this time taking the recommended route) where we hopped on a puddle jumper plane and headed to the beach at Tamarindo. Tamarindo has exploded in the past decade - when my mom first went there was only one "real" hotel. Now there are lots and lots of hotels, fast food, car rental places. It is a gorgeous spot on the Pacific Ocean which is a big surfer hangout. We stayed at a more upscale hotel called the Capitan Suizo which is super duper eco friendly so it was almost like living in a zoo. Iguanas, monkeys, racoons, and lots of different birds all hung out by the pool. The hotel is on the outskirts of town at the end of the beach so we basically had the beach to ourselves where we could boogie board, lay by the pool, and again just relax. Which we did. My sister and her two kids met us there and we had fun just hanging out and relaxing. The only bad thing I can say about the trip was just that it was too short.
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