What's up with runaway kangaroos?

First there was Roo. Now there is Kanga. LLamas I've seen and heard of, but how many people own kangaroos as pets? How the hell are they escaping? MT - maybe Mr. Snuff could be tied in to this story somehow.

Poor kangas - they're wandering much further today than they should. And now they can't find their way back to three acre wood. So help them if you can because they've got to get back to the house at pooh corner by 1... to count all the bees in the hive, chase all the clouds in the sky.

Well, if you know this song at least it's not a horrible one for me to get stuck in your head.

The Streets of Laredo

Freakin Rican has given me the impetus to write a post. I've been lagging due to my first brief being due to the WI Supreme Court on Monday. Anyways, When I was a kid, I had a nutty music teacher who loved John Denver and Johnny Cash, and she made us sing this wacky old song called "Streets of Laredo" which I guess Johnny Cash sang at one point too. As any 4th or 5th grader would, we all would get all amped and snicker whenever she had us sing this one cuz we would get to say both the word "breast" and "gay" - a 4th graders dream come true. Anyways Freakin's post made me remember this song - although not an honest to god cowboy, it looks like the song has come to life once again. Pobrecito - got shot in the breast and he knew he must die.

Another headscratching Sitemeter foray

I haven't posted anything since last Friday. And yesterday I got 40 visits (a way over the top all-time high for me - shoot I don't think I even know 40 people). What's up with that? Not that I mind it of course - no videos, no giraffes, no ricancitos, and still I'm famous.

"Here comes the story of the hurricane"

Why didn't anyone let me know they named a hurricane after me? But fizzled out? Of course I'm not going to unleash my total fury, as that would involve residual damage to Guatemala. Give me some credit - you don't think I would really go after Guatemala do you?

EEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!

Another reason why spitting and rinsing is so important at the dentist's office.

On Wisconsin!

Gotta love Wisconsin. What makes this story great is not the wacko lady with a million cats - every state has those cat ladies. But only Wisconsin's wacky cat lady keeps 65 dead cats.

I can't imagine what she is referring to...

"I saw old parlors converted to bedrooms, ancient radiators and something that looked like a hookah on the kitchen table." A hookah huh? I wonder what that could have been? And with such a strange device isn't it odd that "most of the seven roommates were still asleep at noon?"

The quotes can be found in this WSJ article.

Queen of Camelot Take 2

So I woke up way way too early this morning to go to Green Bay today for my motion to dismiss hearing against the Queen of Camelot. Motion granted. The judge basically talked for five minutes explaining why the motion should be dismissed and I just had to say "that is correct your honor" ... "that is also correct your honor." So her action was dismissed and we have been awarded costs. But, now I have to go back next month because we are having a hearing for costs. Scary thought - if I'll eat a finger for a box of cookies, how much is my work on this case worth?

I Suck at Titles

Well I didn't graduate, so I can't post on how blitzed I got this weekend (in fact even when I did graduate I didn't get blitzed since no one else graduated with me). Instead we went to Door County to go camping. Ahh, camping - yeah except it was Door County which doesn't get warm until July. Luckily we stayed at a B&B the first night, except the guy we were with snored like I have never heard before. I yelled at him twice and ended up just waking everyone else in the room up, but he kept right on shnaaarrrkkkking. Next day we risked it - most of the day was ok, but it did rain a bit, we did forget our ThermaRests and it was butt-ass cold that night. All in all a good weekend.

Even better was practicing my drive up to Greenbay - the Queen of Camelot awaits me this Friday.

Pooping and the Law... In this case the Law didn't win.

Gotta love Wisconsin. Even those of you who might have mistakenly happened upon this blog and have never read a court opinion, this decision is one for you to read. Shoot, it's only 16 paragraphs long and it talks about pooping and how in our society pooping "is a private matter, not often done in the presence of others."

Long story short - don't give ex-lax to a drug swallower unless you have a doc testify that doing so is in the best interests of the swallower.

Gross sidebar. How do you think the cops decided who had to fish through the poop and extract the baggie? It might only take a box of cookies for me to taste someone's chopped off finger, but for whatever reason it would take a hell of a lot more to get me to fish through someone's crap.

The Incredibly Non-exciting Life of a Newly Minted Lawyer

I have been recently criticized for failing to update my blog. Well that's cuz there's been nothing interesting going on lately. Write a brief, file a motion, same old same old. Even my cursory glances of the news of the weird have not been blog worthy. I was thinking of adding some excitement to this building and my life by streaking every floor, but figured I should wait until I pass my probationary period for that (and oh what a post that will be). I am hoping things will pick up this week so that my faithful two readers do not abandon me.

Site Meter

Gotta say, the best part about having a blog is the Site Meter. I spend a good part of my blogging time just checking out who has been visiting me. Usually I have like 3 visitors a day (well actually I can say it is 10-15 but it doesn't really count since I am one of the visitors around 12 times a day). But lately I have been Mr. Popular (shoot 4 people have viewed my blog just as I've been typing this). The very bestest part is that the referring URLs are all these blogs from people and places I've never heard that make absolutely no mention of me (to all those referring blogs that are in Spanish you can call me Sr. Popular). So how the hell am I actually getting reffered by them?? (To be honest I don't really care, as long as the numbers keep coming to inflate my tremendous ego).

Mmmmm Mmmmm Mmmmm Finger in Custard

A finger in custard has got to be way better than a finger in chili. Since it was seemingly kept frozen, I would if they could have tried to reattach it?

And since chopping off your finger is going at a rate of a million, I wonder how much tasting someone's chopped off finger goes for?

[A]Musings

Is this what Wisconsin will [would] have in store if cat shooting actually became legal?

Isn't great that Audrey Seiler (if the name doesn't ring a bell she was our lovely badger who faked her own abduction and curled up in the marsh for a couple of days over by the Coliseum) now has company?

Arrested American Idol

First the arrested apprentice, now the arrested idol. What is reality television coming to? And what will Althouse think?

Queen of Camelot

So yesterday I was given a new case. It involves driving to Green Bay to argue a motion to dismiss. Knowing I actually like courtroom time, the case was quickly dumped on to me. When I was reading the file yesterday, all I could do was laugh. For the first time, my opponent is not a prisoner, but she is pro se - and she is a nutball. She has decided it is unfair that everyone else involved in her lawsuit has a title, so she has declared herself to be the "Queen of Camelot" and even signed her brief that way. As I said, yesterday I found it quite humorous to read through her ramblings. Today, however, I just found it sad. It seems clear this woman is honestly a nutball. But a semi-smart nutball. She has taken university courses; her ramblings, while somewhat schizophrenic are coherent. She keeps attempting to bring a lawsuit stemming from an incident that occurred over 14 years ago and keeps getting dismissed. At this point our office is asking for sanctions against her. The sad part is I think this woman truly believes she has been wronged and is doing what she feels is best to try and remedy the situation. Although I agree our office should not have to waste any more time on her continuously trying to re-litigate a case that has already been dismissed numerous times, I also think what this woman really needs is a mental health professional. The real question is - how do you get her to stop wasting everyone's time? At the very least, the hearing should be entertaining.

Mmmmm Mmmmmm Mmmmm finger in chili

First there was nutri-loaf, now there is the Wendy's finger in the chili. I remember in Torts my first year of law school, the professor asked a question more or less on the lines of how much would it be worth for you to have something horrible happen to your body. I think the case had something to do with a lady having throat surgery that went horribly wrong and her having to have a piece of her intestines used as her esophagus which made her have to manually squeeze the food down her new intestinal throat and caused other discomfort as well as embarassment. But the same could definitely be said for how much would it take to have your finger chopepd off. I also remember the class being somewhat awed/dismayed at how lof of a figure I would do this for, but I guess that's another story. Anyways finger lady has now been arrested, but the even more interesting story remains unsolved - whose finger was this and how much was it worth to chop it off?

p.s. just for kicks I think the comments section should be used to state your figures for both an intestinal throat and a chopped off finger.

Back from Lansing/Graduatin'

Ok I went to Lansing, felt grown up and very very young (the next closest person in age to me was in her late 30's) all at once and now I'm back. The conference was about as exciting as I imagine most conferences are. I don't wear a watch, but after what I am presuming was 20 minutes into each little schpiel I still found myself staring at my wrist and hoping the schpiel would be over soon so I could get the next round of free food. The one highlight of the trip was taking advantage of a beautiful Tuesday evening (temp. around 80) and watching the Class A Lansing Lugnuts battle the Western Michigan Whitecaps. Minor league baseball really is fun to watch, and with no t.v. the games are quick.
On another note, I have been noticing that all of my other 3L compatriots are about to graduate. This has made me think about whether or not graduating early was such a wise decision. The benefits: didn't have to pay an extra semester of tuition, the only job I really applied for fell into my lap, my wife and I will have health insurance for the first time in three years starting in July, and I am actually earning an income. The detriments: I missed out on another semester of being a student (which to me meant loads and loads of free time), I didn't go to graduation since it was so small and was so close to Christmas which means I didn't send out graduation notices and got gypped out of graduation gifts (definitely some lingering resentment there), and I actually have to work. All in all, I am glad I finished school early... but I wouldn't mind it if my family belatedly lavished with me gifts and praise for doing so.

Off to Lansing

Today I get to feel real grown up as I am off to my first conference. I get to go to Lansing, Michigan to learn what our office (The AG's office for those new here - although since I only have 3 readers I guess this is just wishful thinking) can do to prepare for public health emergencies. I hope we have thrilling role-playing exercises where I get to save the whole office building single-handedly. I'll give you the sccop when I return on Thursday. Until then, you are somehow going to have to survive for two whole days without a post.

Mmmm Mmmmm Mmmm Nutri-loaf

I have been my assigned my first case where a prsioner has complained about "nutri-loaf." According to Vegetarians in Paradise, "'Nutriloaf' is a baked bean and flour combination with shredded carrots, spinach, raisins, potato, rice, (non-vegan) shredded cheese, and bread that is used as a punishment food." Hard to think meatloaf gets such a bad rap when nutri-loaf is out there. The funniest link I found however is this ditty about a vegan who refused his nutri-loaf and went on a hunger strike for healthier food. The stuff sounds exactly like what quite a few of my stereotypical hippie/granola Peace Corps compratiots would make and try to convince me was so tasty. Thanks, but no thnaks. Once you've had a steak at the Tornado Room, nutri-loaf just doesn't hold its luster for me.