Monday, May 31, 2010

Off to Vegas Tomorrow

As long as our almost 20 year old faithful Ford Ranger gets me there, I should be in Vegas tomorrow night. My first planned event will be the $1500 buy-in NLHE on Wednesday. I am excited to get there and start playing.

Sunday, May 30, 2010

Last Session of May - Hoping for a Productive June

So I played a small session today and although I didn't get very deep in anything I am liking how I am playing. I didn't punt any tourneys, I just kept running AQ into AK with like less than 20 BBs and I am fine with that.

So I have wrapped up May with a small profit for the month. I also just went over the $100k in tourney buy-ins for the year today and to this point I have a very unappealing -2% ROI for the year. I do think I am running well below expectation though, so I am fairly confident I can still right the ship.

Weekend wise, I made a nice steak, corn, and zucchini dinner for my wife on Friday night.

We then watched our dvred season finale of Lost, and an episode of Parenthood. Saturday we went to the river and while she ran, I walked Chula, and we then went to the movies last night and saw Babies. So all in all a nice relaxing weekend.

I am probably going to watch a lot of poker programs tonight, finish cleaning the house tomorrow and then I am off on Tuesday. My plan is to bring my camera, but I often forget about it so we'll see how good of a photoblogger I become.

I have also joined the PTP WSOP Chipstacks posting so if you want to check up on me you can follow me here. I also will be updating how I did at the end of each day here.

Keep your fingers crossed for me!!

Thursday, May 27, 2010

5 days and counting

I put in another small session last night, got somewhat deep in the 75k on Tilt, took a bad beat and went on lifetilt for a little bit. But all in all I feel really really good about my game. I have made some minor tweaks to my game which I feel are giving me the best opportunity not only to make the money but also to get really deep in every tourney I play.

I have also been watching a lot of poker on tv and there are just more and more obvious live tells that I am picking up that I am really looking forward to playing lots of live poker next month.

My group of internet kids have been giving me a hard time about my recent lack of volume, but I am fine with it. I am still going to get my 200 tourneys in this month. I am going to book a profitable month. And I am heading to Vegas with a really good mindset and super eager to play. I know the odds are against me, but I feel like I have a real good shot of making some deep runs and maybe even winning a bracelet.

My plan for the next couple of days is simply to hang out with my wife, clean the house so it is spotless for her before I leave. put in a Sunday session, and then head for the desert on Tuesday.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Small Session; Small Score

I played an evening session and made the money in 5 of the 8 tourneys I played and managed to eke out an 8th place in a $27 tourney on Stars for a small profit for the day. It is always a little disappointing to not finish a tourney off, but I really like how I am playing and feel like I am in a real good mindframe heading towards the world series.

Monday, May 24, 2010

Just Being Super Lazy

I haven't played a session since last Tuesday. I played my home game last Friday; I have put in a couple of coaching sessions; and I have been doing quite a bit of math poker theory calculations so it's not like I am just giving up on the game. I just haven't felt the mojo so I am not playing.

Friday, May 21, 2010

Getting Pumped for the WSOP

I was asked to write a preview of the WSOP which was published on Pocket5s. I am definitely getting amped to go to Vegas and try and win a bracelet but I also know that the daily live grind in Vegas can get real old real fast. After grinding really hard at the beginning of this month achieving my 200 tourney goal for the month will be relatively easy so I have put in very very little volume this week. I probably won't be putting in that much next week either because I really want to make sure that every session I play is a quality as close to mistake free session as possible to put me in the right mindset for the WSOP.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Sooooooooooo Close

Full Tilt absolutely sucks balls for me this year. I thought I might break through today, but instead I got 10th, yes the Final Table Bubble Boy in the $60k.

I really really liked how I played, but I did not get the luck I needed to carry me through. I folded 88 when we were 5 handed facing a 12 BB shove and a 20 BB reshove when I had 16 BBs. My opps had AK and AJ and I would have held and made the final table with a good stack if I had called. Very next hand I shove K7s into the BB who had only 11 BBs and he calls with A4s and holds. Now I am decimated down to 4 BBs but I pick up TT the very next hand only to lose to AK.

And the what ifs are running rampant in my head. What if I had called with the 88 - I would have a good chance at winning the tourney. What if my K7s or TT had held? I would at least get back to even for the year. What if I didn't run worse than a 3 legged sloth?

I know the what if game is frutiless - I played well, that's all that matters. But that just sounds like a bunch of blah blah meow chow when I was that close to another 5 figure score only to brick out yet again.

End rant/

Monday, May 17, 2010


Poker is dumb. It really is. This year has just been retarded in the swinginess. I win a tourney and I feel like I am one of the poker elite; I go on a downswing and I feel like maybe the game is passing me by...

And then I take a day off to just relax and sort things out and things recrystalize in my head that my game isn't about my numbers, it's really about making correct decisions. If people were to look up my stats this year, they would say "how can this guy be a professional when he is losing money for the year?" If I had won that tourney last night or if I had won any of those many tourneys where I finished 10-15th this year those same people would be looking at my stats and saying "wow that chardrian is such a consistent winner - how does he do it?"

One hand here, one hand there, really can and does make such a difference but people (including myself) don't think that way. All we think about is the bottom line. And when I am downswinging it makes it that much harder to think about anything other than the bottom line because I start stressing about my bankroll vanishing between monthly withdrawals for bills and from lack of wins. The beauty of my cash last night is that it gives me some breathing room to start focusing on the decision making again instead of focusing so much on the money.

Sunday, May 16, 2010


A huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I got 3rd in the UB/AP 200k for just over $18k and the downswing is once again over.

This actually does not quite get me out of the hole for the year, but it is much much closer. This Sunday was going to be my last day playing the Sunday majors on my own dime so this score gives me a little leeway again.

I am a little disappointed that I didn't take it down and the only big mistake I made was probably on my last hand and even that wasn't that big since I had a pocket pair and we were 3 handed (I ended up jamming 22 vs a 3-bet from the chip-leader).

Tomorrow I will just settle back in, clean up the house, and then grind it up again the rest of this month but with much less stress.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

I don't want to post another sigh post but...

any other post would be a lie. I got 6th in a $55 FO on UB where I played poorly at the Final Table because I was just over aggressive. I then got 12th in the $26 Knockout on FullTilt for like $200 when 1st was over $7k and wanted to go totally emo and slit my wrists.

I am going to withdraw my money for this month and next month today since I won't be around in June so my bankroll is back to the lowest it has been in a long long time.

I did get a workout in this morning, so at least something is going well. I am not sure how much more I can take of my poker brutality.

Sunday, May 09, 2010

Time to Refocus

I don't feel like my game has regressed at all but I do feel like this year of repetitive downswings has made me focus way way too much on poker and not enough on anything else. I haven't been working out, I haven't been keeping the house as clean as I should... All I've really been doing is playing poker, posting advice on poker forums, getting frustrated when I run like poo, relaxing by sitting in front of the tv and then repeating the cycle.

So it's time to break the cycle. My wife signed us up recently for a membership at a local fitness center, so tomorrow I am heading there first thing before I do anything else. I will still be getting my poker hours in, but it't time for me to stop obsessing about it.

Thursday, May 06, 2010

A day in my life

I stayed up late last night watching tv, going to the grocery store, putting gas in my wife's car, etc. So I didn't wake up today until like 11:30. I roll out of bed, into the shower, come out and it's time to register for my tourneys.

I register for 8 tourneys fire up my Hold'em Manager, put in a cd, jump onto vent where I commiserate with a poker buddy of mine who is downswinging like me and also get kicked in the ass by another buddy who basically tells us to stop whining like the emo bitches that we are.

I play some poker. I am playing 3 tourneys to start and quickly make a bad bluff in the $163 on Tilt and lose half my stack. I shake it off and in 30 minutes my next tourney pops up. 1 hour in and I have built up a stack in my $26 knockout, have doubled up in my $55 FO on stars have just stayed even on my other $55 tourney on Tilt.

Next hour starts and 3 more tourneys pop up. I quickly lose a ton of flips in the $10 rebuy on stars and 10 minutes into the 2nd hour of my play I am a casualty in the $163 which I lose a 40/60 when I shove my short stack with KTs and get called by AQ. So I am now down to 6 tables.

About 1/2 hour later I make my second mistake of the day when I get it in 45 BBs deep with 99. I was in a bad frame of mind and fell back into putting my opponent on one hand (AK) when in fact his range was more like JJ+/AK and he did indeed have KK. So I am out of the $55 FO on Tilt and now I'm down to 5 tourneys.

I go into the 2nd break of the day with a decent stack in the $26 KO; a good stack in the $162 on stars; a nice stack in the $10 rebuy (although I did have to rebuy 5 times; and average stacks in the $55 and $75 tourneys on Tilt.

I start the 3rd hour of play with the $265 SCOOP event on Stars popping up and I am back to 6 tourneys. Very quickly I am down to 5 tourneys when my TT loses a "race" to AQ in the $26 KO and then the standard clusterfuck happens: I lose a good chunk of my stack in the $162 on Stars when my AQ loses to KT and then I'm out a couple of hands later when TT loses to AK; in the $10 rebuy my TT loses to A7 and then ten minutes later my AT loses to 99 and I'm out; in the $55 FO on Stars I c/shove a guy with fold equity with AdJd on a QdKd2x flop and he snap calls me with QTo and I brick out.

So now as I shake my head and question really and truly "is this real?" I am down to 2 tourneys - the Scoop on stars and the $75 FO on Tilt.

I play both of these tourneys well, and chip up a bit in each.

The next hour I raise AJs in the $75 FO and am unable to fold on an AA7 flop when my opp has 77. And then I make my last mistake of the day when I am already in my fuck-it mode and get it in 100 BBs deep in the scoop when I flopped top two pair and my opp had the top set.

So a little less than 4 hours of play, -$918 and still left shaking my head. The one good thing of my review of the day is that I can see that I am making mistakes and I need to stop doing so. Tourneys now are so much about playing mistake free so that you can allow the run good to hit you in those few tourneys that you do get semi-deep in. By making mistakes I am just not letting myself get there.

Now it's time to eat some food, walk the dog, and get back to it tonight.

Wednesday, May 05, 2010


11th in the afternoon $163 FO on Tilt. Both 1st and 2nd would have brought me out of the hole for the year. 11th barely made me positive for the day. So guess what? I'm frustrated - crazy stuff I know.

Tuesday, May 04, 2010

Just the facts

Since Adil doesn't like me being emo, I will just state the facts from today.

16 tourneys, 4 cashes, 1 Final Table = -$702 for the day.

Back at it tomorrow.

Monday, May 03, 2010

Reflection was good, results still are not good

I played a weird session today because I did a lesson at the same time that I played a few tourneys this afternoon. I busted those relatively early all in standard spots, and then I was going to play a long session tonight, but I actually ended up getting somewhat deep in 4 of the 10 tourneys I played tonight so I just played those ten and that was it.

I made one big mistake when we were down to 14 players left in a UB tourney I was in which will definitely haunt me for a while. I was just tilted and tired of getting bad beat/coolered yet again today so I raised from EP w/AQ and then just 4-bet jammed some guy with no fold equity after he 3-bet me when it was pretty clear that at the absolute best I was like 45/55. I have made it a priority to not punt tourneys no matter what, so punting that one was just retarded - especially since making the FT probably would have given me a profitable day and going out in 14th gave me another in a long string of losing days.

I thought I had left that aspect of my play in the dust, but the non-thinking, hand on the mouse, insta "eat it" tilt monkey definitely returned on that hand. Usually my remedy would be to "take some time off." But I need to win some money, and I can't win without playing, so I will just keep on grinding.