Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Whee for a Win!!

Nothing major - but I won the $109 PLO/8 tourney on Stars for $2300. August was actually basically tied for my worst month of the year so far so it feels good to actually take something down.

It has been a very up and down year for me, I've had 3 losing months (2 big losing months) and 5 winning months and have only shown a modest profit for the year. The game has definitely gotten tougher because more and more of my opponents are regular players and their are fewer and fewer really bad fish out there. I am still way way under my volume goals though so I hope to get in over 200 tourneys this month and hopefully go on a nice little heater at some point soon. We shall see...

Wedding Season is now over so I am back to work

I was back in my old stomping grounds of Madison, Wisconsin last week because a friend of ours from my wife's medical school was getting married. The trip was great - we went canoeing, hung out at Devil's lake, and got to see how all of my wife's med school crew are doing and weddings are just always fun (especially when your only role is to show up and enjoy yourself). Now that I am back, I finally have a block of time where I can actually play some poker so that is my plan.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Off to Portland

My cousin is getting married this weekend so I am off to Portland. I am looking forward to seeing what I have heard is a very cool city and hanging out with my family.

Poker is continuing to go bad results wise.

Monday, August 16, 2010

Back home for a little bit.

It's been a busy couple of days. My hard drive died on me Wednesday night which was the same time that my Santa Barbara family came in for a visit. We went to Tahoe for the weekend which was fun but is always just a little too short. After I took them to the airport today, I went and got a new hard drive and then as is always the case with me and computers it took like 3+ hours figuring out how to get back on the internet (something about some driver needed to be updated). Anyhoo, I once again have internet and an empty house so I will put in a session tomorrow.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Another Positive Day but....

yeah I am still frustrated. I actually made a final table in a big tourney today, the $162 FO on Stars, but I couldn't get anything going late, took a bad beat which dropped me to like 20 BBs, and then lost a race at the Final Table to end in 9th. Again just really frustrating to get that close and then have it not pan out.

I am, however, really really happy with my play and my refusal to give up. In the tourney I final tabled, I was down to just 3 BBs on the money bubble and then battled my back all the way to the final table. And in my other tourneys I made no mistakes - I was either coolered, or bad beat which is still frustrating, but a sign of really good play.

Tomorrow my family from Santa Barbara comes in to town so I am off until next Monday and I am going to do my best to enjoy myself.

Monday, August 09, 2010

Finally a positive day but...

I'm still really frustrated. I got deep in the FTOPs Omaha Hi/Lo tourney but ran really bad at the end and finished in like 27th. Then I also got very deep in the $20 cubed on Pokerstars only to final table bubble in 11th. Both tourneys had me dreaming of big paydays, both tourneys totally bombed.

I am so focused on hitting a big score right now that anything less is just really demoralizing.

There is another decent FTOPs tomorrow at 11 am so depending on how I feel tomorrow I will start a session with that or I might just take tomorrow off and come back swinging next week.

Sunday, August 08, 2010

Really Tough Week - Time to Review

It has been a really hard week pokerwise. Nothing is going right and my confidence has taken a hit. So much of this game is about confidence and going through a downswing just tears down that confidence bit by bit. Last week I was riding high off after coming home from a decent WSOP and having a good July. Luckily I wrote a post that I told myself to come back to when I had my next downswing - unfortunately that happened much sooner than I would have liked.

But this is what I wrote:

"Take a break - spend a day or two reviewing HHs, ghosting other players, watching vids, but definitely don't play."

I have family coming this week on Wednesday and I am then going to Portland and then Madison at the end of this month so I actually can't take a break as long as I am playing well these next two days because otherwise I won't be able to put my volume in for the month. But I definitely won't be playing from Wed-Sunday this week.

"Take a deep breath, look at your overall results - are you a winning player overall? Are you simply having a bad year? Or do you actually suck and need to work on your game? Be honest with yourself."

I am doing that right now. Overall results for the year aren't where I want them but I am still up for the year. I am constantly tinkering with my game but for the most part I honestly feel that I am playing well and running poorly.

"Right now you are in a total whiny bitchfest and believe that poker somehow "owes" you something; you are never "due" in poker; odds don't change depending on how you are running; all you can do in tourneys is play as optimally as you possibly can and let the results come... and they will come."

I am trying really hard not to whine... but it's hard. I feel like I keep getting so close to my goals and then right when I almost reach them I inevitably go on a downswing. And the bummer about playing higher level tourneys is that my average buy-in has increased so much that when I do downswing, the money just starts hemorrhaging. Losing $10k in a week is not that hard to do when you are averaging $1500 to $2000 a day in buy-ins. But I also realize there is nothing I can do but play my best, stick to my bankroll management and then just let the results happen.

Friday, August 06, 2010

Yikes the whole week!

I played some higher risk stuff today and got semi-deep meaning I made it to like the last 20% but I just can't finish anything. 7 of the 8 tourneys I played I lost on just regular old bad beats, coolers, and lost races. The 8th was the most important one I was playing the $200 cubed FTOPs and I just went nutty in a hand with GrampaJeff/Jeffbeesdat.

I smooth called with AJo on the button. Flop came 6Q3 and he didn't fire which is weird for him because he fires like 100% on that flop. Turn was a 7. He fired and I figured he had AK so I raised the turn. He called. And now I put him exactly on AQ. River was a 4. And the pot and my stack were basically equal. So now the decision was if I push can he fold. I thought he could since my line looks so much like a set, an overpair, or even 45. But obviously it also has a bluff in there sometimes. I took my time, decided to shove and he called. And there went my last chance to cash.

I am kicking myself right now, but it might not be that bad. It's really hard to review hand histories when you are downswinging and I'm downswinging so bad this week that I don't know whether I suck, whether my confidence is just crushed, or whether it really is just bad luck.

I am taking tonight off to go play in my home game and tomorrow off and then will be back at it on Sunday. Hopefully things turn around soon....

Thursday, August 05, 2010

Yikes take three!

I cashed in 1 tourney to end the cashless streak but it was just a mincash in the smallest tourney I play (a $26 FO on Tilt). So yeah, I need to staunch the money flow out.

Wednesday, August 04, 2010

yikes take 2

I have played full sessions these last two days and haven't cashed in one single tourney. 0 for 32. Mostly just really unlucky, for sure some marginal calls, but mostly just really unlucky.

Just a week ago I was loving the poker lifestyle. Right now I feel almost sick to my stomach. Just brutal. I am now in like a $5k hole for the month which I need to try to work myself out of.

Ok - enough whining. I know no one likes to read it.

Tuesday, August 03, 2010

Yikes

I am having one of those days where nothing goes right. Trying to keep the whining to a minimum but that's all that's happening.