Thursday, April 28, 2005

Arrested American Idol

First the arrested apprentice, now the arrested idol. What is reality television coming to? And what will Althouse think?

Queen of Camelot

So yesterday I was given a new case. It involves driving to Green Bay to argue a motion to dismiss. Knowing I actually like courtroom time, the case was quickly dumped on to me. When I was reading the file yesterday, all I could do was laugh. For the first time, my opponent is not a prisoner, but she is pro se - and she is a nutball. She has decided it is unfair that everyone else involved in her lawsuit has a title, so she has declared herself to be the "Queen of Camelot" and even signed her brief that way. As I said, yesterday I found it quite humorous to read through her ramblings. Today, however, I just found it sad. It seems clear this woman is honestly a nutball. But a semi-smart nutball. She has taken university courses; her ramblings, while somewhat schizophrenic are coherent. She keeps attempting to bring a lawsuit stemming from an incident that occurred over 14 years ago and keeps getting dismissed. At this point our office is asking for sanctions against her. The sad part is I think this woman truly believes she has been wronged and is doing what she feels is best to try and remedy the situation. Although I agree our office should not have to waste any more time on her continuously trying to re-litigate a case that has already been dismissed numerous times, I also think what this woman really needs is a mental health professional. The real question is - how do you get her to stop wasting everyone's time? At the very least, the hearing should be entertaining.

Monday, April 25, 2005

Mmmmm Mmmmmm Mmmmm finger in chili

First there was nutri-loaf, now there is the Wendy's finger in the chili. I remember in Torts my first year of law school, the professor asked a question more or less on the lines of how much would it be worth for you to have something horrible happen to your body. I think the case had something to do with a lady having throat surgery that went horribly wrong and her having to have a piece of her intestines used as her esophagus which made her have to manually squeeze the food down her new intestinal throat and caused other discomfort as well as embarassment. But the same could definitely be said for how much would it take to have your finger chopepd off. I also remember the class being somewhat awed/dismayed at how lof of a figure I would do this for, but I guess that's another story. Anyways finger lady has now been arrested, but the even more interesting story remains unsolved - whose finger was this and how much was it worth to chop it off?

p.s. just for kicks I think the comments section should be used to state your figures for both an intestinal throat and a chopped off finger.

Back from Lansing/Graduatin'

Ok I went to Lansing, felt grown up and very very young (the next closest person in age to me was in her late 30's) all at once and now I'm back. The conference was about as exciting as I imagine most conferences are. I don't wear a watch, but after what I am presuming was 20 minutes into each little schpiel I still found myself staring at my wrist and hoping the schpiel would be over soon so I could get the next round of free food. The one highlight of the trip was taking advantage of a beautiful Tuesday evening (temp. around 80) and watching the Class A Lansing Lugnuts battle the Western Michigan Whitecaps. Minor league baseball really is fun to watch, and with no t.v. the games are quick.
On another note, I have been noticing that all of my other 3L compatriots are about to graduate. This has made me think about whether or not graduating early was such a wise decision. The benefits: didn't have to pay an extra semester of tuition, the only job I really applied for fell into my lap, my wife and I will have health insurance for the first time in three years starting in July, and I am actually earning an income. The detriments: I missed out on another semester of being a student (which to me meant loads and loads of free time), I didn't go to graduation since it was so small and was so close to Christmas which means I didn't send out graduation notices and got gypped out of graduation gifts (definitely some lingering resentment there), and I actually have to work. All in all, I am glad I finished school early... but I wouldn't mind it if my family belatedly lavished with me gifts and praise for doing so.

Monday, April 18, 2005

Off to Lansing

Today I get to feel real grown up as I am off to my first conference. I get to go to Lansing, Michigan to learn what our office (The AG's office for those new here - although since I only have 3 readers I guess this is just wishful thinking) can do to prepare for public health emergencies. I hope we have thrilling role-playing exercises where I get to save the whole office building single-handedly. I'll give you the sccop when I return on Thursday. Until then, you are somehow going to have to survive for two whole days without a post.

Friday, April 15, 2005

Mmmm Mmmmm Mmmm Nutri-loaf

I have been my assigned my first case where a prsioner has complained about "nutri-loaf." According to Vegetarians in Paradise, "'Nutriloaf' is a baked bean and flour combination with shredded carrots, spinach, raisins, potato, rice, (non-vegan) shredded cheese, and bread that is used as a punishment food." Hard to think meatloaf gets such a bad rap when nutri-loaf is out there. The funniest link I found however is this ditty about a vegan who refused his nutri-loaf and went on a hunger strike for healthier food. The stuff sounds exactly like what quite a few of my stereotypical hippie/granola Peace Corps compratiots would make and try to convince me was so tasty. Thanks, but no thnaks. Once you've had a steak at the Tornado Room, nutri-loaf just doesn't hold its luster for me.

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

The Arrested Apprentice

For all those Apprentice fans out there (I never really liked this one - Survivor, Amazing Race, Real World/Road Rules, I'm all over - but Donald does not really do it for me) check out volcano Chris Shelton here. Mug shots always make me chuckle.

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Wascally Wabbits

The Ocean writes about how she would like "jackasses or a herd of elephants" to chase the rabbits out of her yard. Looks to me like the more profitable option is to catch one and then threaten to eat it unless you are paid $50,000. The U.S. cracks me up sometimes. The fact that this guy is creating an uproar over threatening to eat his pet rabbit is just silly. The fact that people have actually paid him close to $25,000 already (and with the coverage he is getting I am sure he will meet his mark) is just ludicrous.

Monday, April 11, 2005

Wacky Wisconsin Animals

First there was Roo hopping along a Wisconsin highway, now his friend (I can't believe s/he doesn't have a name, so I suggest either flame (llama = flame in Spanish) or Lindsey) the llama was also out carousing. Gotta love Wisconsin.

(p.s. (I am thinking I am becoming a professional (i.e. no longer amateur) parenthetical writer (it really is sort of fun) (you should try it))).

Thursday, April 07, 2005

More Manure

Uh oh Ocean that wacky Madison manure is back. I particularly like the mention of an "odor index." Sounds delightful, doesn't it?

Perpetual Bliss

I have often thought how great it would be to be a professional student. This guy is actually doing it. Even with the huge loan debt and the slacker tax which he now has to pay, I gotta say I am somewhat envious. Undergrad really was a blissful time (because I didn't bother about working to pay my way through law school like I did for undergrad, law school was in many respects even more blissful). You got to act like (and were usually treated like) an adult but with no real responsibilities. Getting gloriously trashed on a Tuesday night just to get gloriously trashed on a Tuesday night was A-ok. If it was nice out, and it generally was in Santa Barbara, it was almost never a big deal to just not go to class because I had few, if any (have to admit I don't really remember if I took any classes where attendance was required - maybe all those Tuesday nights affected my memory a little bit), classes which took attendance. And to top it off, you still got at least 1/4 of the year off (as a reward for all that really hard work I guess). So, can you really blame this guy for trying to hold on to this lifestyle for as long as he possibly can? Don't ever give up Johnny. Slack, Johnny, slack - it gives me a dream to hold on to.

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Elevator man

I don't know why this struck me as being so funny, but it did. 3 days stranded in an elevator I can actually understand. But come on - the authorities were looking for this guy, his pleas for help (although in Mandarin) were heard, maintenance guys came to check out the elevator, and he still stayed in the damn elevator for 3 days!!?? Maybe it's just me, but I would hope that someone would be able to put 2 and 2 together to figure out that hmmm, some guy keeps calling from an elevator in a language I don't understand, that elevator hasn't moved from floor 3 (and 1/2) for a very long time, and the cops were looking for some delivery guy equates to some guy is probably stuck in the elevator. Oh well, at least he got to catch up on his sleep.

Tuesday, April 05, 2005


Yesterday I got to go to Racine to argue a motion to dismiss. Although the hearing wasn't until 9 and the Mapquest said it took only 2 hours to get there, I left around 6 just to make sure. Thank god I did. The Mapquest directions had me going from Madison to Milwaukee and then down to Racine. Of course, at 6 am I am not at my best (I am definitely a night person, not a morning one), so instead of taking the I-94(towards Milwaukee), I got on the I-90 (towards Chicago). Whoops. Didn't even realize my mistake until I was almost in Janesville. Luckily, I had a map and was able to zigzag my way to Racine without having to backtrack and with no real horrendous delay. In fact I liked the last portion of the route so much that I ended up taking it on the way back. It was a beautiful day for a drive and driving through farmland and the occassional small town was much nicer than taking the interstate the whole way. Now I know some people hate driving, and if i had to commute everyday I would too, but to be honest there's something about driving on a two-lane highway through Wisconsin on a beautiful day that I find to be really enjoyable. I sort of like the barns and silos, the cows and horses, and the small towns that you drive through about every 15 minutes. I don't think it was much slower either. I took the 20 from Racine to I think Whitewater and then from there I took the 12 which takes you through Fort Atkinson, which I think is a much more direct route. And the best part of it was I got paid to be out of the office, I got to be in court (although it was only a 3 minute argument - I basically just said you can't sue the state without its consent and the judge siad you are right), and then I got paid for a beautiful 2 hour drive home. If the AG's office needed a full-time easy motion arguer around the state, I think I would be a very happy camper.