Tantalizingly Close

I have made deep deep runs in lots and lots of big weeknight tourneys and I am just fizzling out before the big money. I have a new ergonomic birthday chair and will just keep plugging away and at some point it will all fall into place again.

One of my buddies won the UB Sunday tourney for over $40k this weekend and although I feel great for him I also obviously want one of this big scores for me again. I haven't had a 5 figure online score since April so I feel that I am due and with the three close calls I have had the last 2 nights, I want it even more.

Happy Birthday?

Meh - not really. I totally muffed an opportunity for a really big night when I checked the "call any bet" box w/AQs in the 50/50 on Tilt when I should have folded. I then proceeded to lose every race possible after that and instead of easily making the final table (I had twice the average chip stack needed to make the final table at one point) I went out in 11th.

Other than that one mistake, I am playing super well though. I made the money in 4 of the 8 tourneys I played tonight and I had a shot to go deep in all of them. I made the final table in the $30 rebuy as well so I did show a bit of profit for the night. But wow, I will be kicking myself for a while over the missed opportunity in the 50/50 tonight where 1st place was over 11k and 11th was just $700.

Ready for the weekend

I keep getting very deep in some of the smaller buy-in PokerStars tourneys but not deep enough. In the last 4 days I have come in right around 30th place in 4 tourneys on Stars that have over 1400 entries. 30th place is right around $100, 1st place is between $6k and $10k. So getting deep is great, but it ends up being just a waste of time. I know if I keep plugging away I will finally break through - but I still get frustrated waiting for it to happen.

The funny thing is that all of my friends who I speak with daily believe that I am actually really lucky, that I run better than most. Whereas I tend to dwell on how unlucky I am, how I never win races late, how I always get sucked out on late, blah blah meow chow.

Anyhoo, I need to go to San Francisco tomorrow night to help my cousin out and visit with her fam (and my younger sister) so I am going to take tomorrow and Saturday off and then come back raring to go on Sunday. One big Sunday and all my frustrations suddenly dissolve...

Still grinding

I played some of my best poker today. I folded AA twice postflop correctly, I stayed patient when I needed to and made aggressive moves when I needed to. And even though I cashed 3 of the 12 tourneys I played today, I ended up losing money for the day. I am so due for a score on PoekrStars it is crazy. As long as I keep playing like I have been, it will come.

Standard Sunday

Woke up, played 12 tourneys in 8 hours, cashed 3 of them, lost money, played well. That's pretty much how most of my days go, and thus how most of my blogs go. I made this comment on an internet wunderkid's blog yesterday (he is another pro on pokerpwnage who I have only met in passing a couple of times in real life but he seems like a decent kid and I like living vicariously through him):

Being young and untethered by commitments should be a panacea. One reason why I love reading your blog is that I think (usually) you realize this. I was amazed at how many of the internet wunderkids who I saw and met in Vegas this year seem to totally miss that point. They were surrounded by friends, had shittons of money, and had the opportunity to delve into a million off the table experiences. But from what I saw, the vast majority of them went straight from the live tables back to their rooms so they could continue grinding on the online felts. What a waste. Ten years from now you aren't going to remember whether you made 70k or 120k in 2009, but you will remember what experiences you had. Poker should be your tool for letting you experience life to its fullest - too many of your compatriots are making poker THE experience and that's a shame.

And even though I am now old and in many respects, tethered, a lot of this still holds true for me as well. I need to try and keep that perspective and use poker to help me obtain what I want out of life, but I need to make sure not to make it my life. And with that, I am going to go hang out with the wife.

wheeeeeeee

After money bubbling the FTOPS (again) and whining up a storm to Adil, I took down the $20 rebuy on FT for $8k.

wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Off to do a quick shopping trip and then a home game tonight.

Looking to break through

Today was my only positive day of the week. For a whopping $105, which really doesn't help offset the multiple -$1000+ days I've had this week. I actually won a small tourney on Fulltilt today and got 11th in the Sniper on UB so I still feel real good about my game, but I really need a big score. I have been letting the frustration get to me a bit, so I am taking tomorrow night off and we'll go from there.

Midst of a downswing

It's tough because I am playing so well, but just not holding or running well. Of the 7 tourneys I played this afternoon, I took two horrible beats, one bad beat, one cooler (a hand where I can't fold but run into a bigger hand - in this case I had AK and my opp had AA), and couldn't win a race in the other 3. The hard part with downswings is that the only way to get out of them is to keep playing and win, but as I continue to play and take bad beats I get increasingly frustrated. I am really really pleased with my overall play tho, so hopefully I'll get the score I am looking for soon.

Shouldnt have played today

I took a ton of bad beats early and then basically just went into a "screw it" mentality where I just raised a ton of pots and c-bet everytime postflop. The good thing is that I realized that I have probably been a bit too passive lately because a lot of times I was able to just out agg people postflop. The bad thing is that I was in a "screw it" mentality so I didn't make laydowns that I normally would.

Anyhoo, tomorrow I should play a full schedule.

Soulcrushed

I got 184th place when 162 pay in the biggest FTOPs event that I am going to play this series which was a $1060 buyin. I played pretty stellar (made one small mistake when I had a big stack) and then lost a huge pot late in the tourney when I was a 55% favorite with JJ versus AQ. It's always just such a deflating feeling to play that well for that long and you can't help but get your hopes up that maybe this will be that one glorious tourney where everything falls in place, only to lose when you need it the most.

Meh - it's the life I've chosen. Tomorrow is another day.

Another break-even day

I am tired and more than a little frustrated to have played so well on a long Sunday and have nothing to show for it. I made the final 2 tables of the $20 rebuy on Tilt without ever getting it in bad (which is rare - usually to get that deep you need at least one suckout) only to get slowrolled when I had AK versus some internet kid's AA (slowrolling means he hit the timebank button to make me think he had a hard decision to make when he actually has the best hand possible, just to try and piss me off). I also made the money in 2 of the Sunday majors and am playing really well, I just need the run good to hit me square in the face so that I can get a top 3 score in a really big tourney. I am supposed to play a $1k buy-in tomorrow, but if I am not feeling the mojo, I won't play it.

Break Even Day

LOL I lost exactly $7 on the day. I lost a big hand late to a retard in the Sniper but battled my way back to the Final Table and then lost a race to finish in 8th. I feel really reallllllly good about my game right now. I am not spewing at all and just running really poorly when it matters the most - I feel like I easily could have made the money in over half of my tourneys today if I just raced better. Tomorrow I am playing an afternoon session and then taking the night off.

FTOPs and Grinding

So I am now officially back to the grind. I am going to play a full session tonight and then will just keep on grinding. Today starts off FTOPs which is a series of bigger buy-in tourneys on FullTilt which happens either 3 or 4 times a year. Due to a series of cashouts prior to the WSOP and investments in other players, my online bankroll is down to a level where I don't want to take the whole risk of playing $200+ tourneys on my own dime, so I have reluctantly put up a BAP on PTP so that I can still play these events but don't have to absorb all the risk. It has just sold out, so I will play the first FTOPs event tonight.

Other than that, life quickly has gotten back to normal after a nice long vacation. Wake up, surf the internets, walk the dog, try and do some sort of exercise, shower, play online poker, rinse and repeat.

Not a bad first day back

I got 3rd place in the Sniper tourney on UB and almost made another final table on Full Tilt in the $30 rebuy, so my first day back was profitable which is always nice. I feel like I played really well and stayed patient and focused which is usually my downfall when I get back to playing after a break.

Tomorrow I am probably going to get some errands done and then play a home game tomorrow night, so I'll be back to the grind on Wednesday.

Back Home Take 2

So I just got back from a week in Hawaii with my wife and my family on my dad's side (my dad, step-mom and their 2 kids, my sister, her husband and their 4 kids, and a random cousin thrown in for good measure). We rented a 5 bedroom house in Kauai for the 13 of us (6 adults, 3 under 9 yr olds, 3 adolescent girls, and one soon to be freshman at UT) and had a blast. The place was right on the ocean and had an incredible view of the Princeville coast and its own pool and jacuzzi. We snorkeled, kayaked, went on a catamaran, did the luau thing, and just hung out and had a good time. Even though I've been on a long break, it still felt good to just relax and not have to worry about doing anything.

Now that we're back, Charmian is back to the grueling hours and I need to get back and put some volume in or I won't have a bankroll to play off of. I will be very upset with myself if I don't get in my 200 tourneys this month. As always, the hard part for me in getting back is just getting my mindset back so that the bad beats don't send me into a tailspin.

On the health front, my left knee continues to be screwed up so I will probably make another appointment to see the doc since the sports I like to play (basketball, volleyball, tennis) all require quick movements and jumping and I can't do either right now. I also want to lose like 10 pounds since vacationing has meant eating a ton of junk. The next two months should be pretty poker intensive so hopefully that will mean more regular updates here.

Finally back home

I decided to stay a little longer in Santa Barbara and just got back home tonight. I had fun and tried to stay active playing basketball with my "old fart" game which is a longstanding game that I started playing when I was in college and is just a really good group of guys who play every Mon, Wed, and Fri on their lunch break. I played every day but there is something wrong with my left knee so I can't run, jump, or cut as well as I would like to. For the majority of the time I just hung out with my in-laws, which I know seems weird to most people, but I get along well with all of them so it really is nice just to hang out, relax, and be taken care of. The only detriment is that I always gain weight when I am there.

Still being lazy

July is basically going to just end up being a no volume month for me, and I am ok with that. I am heading off to Santa Barbara on Tuesday and will stay for about a week and then the following Friday we are going to Hawaii for a week, so I don't foresee me playing much the rest of this month. Once August rolls around though I should be raring to go and will get back to trying to get as much volume in as I can.

Lately I have been playing in this weekly home game which has been fun, and I will continue to keep playing in that as it is just a nice way to play with a good group of people and get out from staring at a computer screen all day.

Not feeling the mojo

I just haven't been having the desire to play, so I haven't been. I will probably play sporadically this week as I have a home game tomorrow and on Friday and on Wednesday I need to take Chula back to the vet to see how she is progressing. Next week we are off to Santa Barbara for a long weekend (for me at least) and then we are off to Hawaii the following week.

A little live play

There is a cardroom just a couple minutes away from my house which I had not been to until this weekend. I have a bad tendency to spew when I play cash - especially when I play live and this weekend I lived up to that tendency. A couple of the guys from my new homegame invited me to play so I went and had a good time even though I came home a loser. It is a weird game because it is 1-3 NL but you can only buy-in for $200. They also take a rake of $4 from every pot so it is hard to beat the rake - but the play is really really bad. A lot of limpers and a lot of people who can't fold preflop. I would actually be even for my games played there if I just didn't bluff. As it is I am down 4 buyins because I made 2 huge bluffs (1 one ok the other was just bad) and because I lost 2 races. One lesson learned is that a minraise postflop at this establishment = the nuts. I might continue to keep playing there as an excursion to actually see people face to face but I am not sure how juicy the game is since the rake is so hard to beat.

First full day

Today was my first full day back and it went ok. I won a small $55 6 max tourney on PokerStars which gave me a small profit for the day. It's a little weird playing online again and I find myself getting more antsy/bored than I was when I play live. But the more I play, the more I will get back into the swing of things again.

Tomorrow I am going to go play at a cardroom that is just down the street from my house. If it goes well, that could definitely become a weekly excursion for me.