Thursday, September 24, 2009

Reflection

I am taking today off and just sort of evaluating where I am, where I want to be, and what I need to do to accomplish my goals. And to do all of that I always think it is good to look back and see where you have been.

It is hard for me to believe that I have now been playing professionally for over 2 years. When I started with my 30k bankroll I had dreams that I would consistently be making $10k+ every month, that my bankroll would steadily increase and that I could then move up in limits and my ROI would stay the same and then I would be consistently making $20k+ every month. That this cycle would just continue until I was a bazillionaire and life would be eeeeeeeeasy.

Instead I have found that I generally take 2 or 3 small steps back before taking one giant step forward that is big enough to jump over those backward movements. That the "consistent" 10k months are a pipe dream - I generally have one losing month for every 2 winning months.

If I had kept a bankroll graph it would be the spikiest thing ever. I have gone from 30k, down to less than 25k, back up to over 30k, up to 40k, back down to 30k, back to 40, up to 50, back to 40, up to 50, up to 60, back down to 40, back up to 60, back down to 40, then as recently as mid August I was back down to 32k and since then I have built it back up to where it currently stands at 68k.

I have learned that between downswings, monthly withdrawals, and laziness leading to low volume, growing or even maintaining my bankroll is HARD! So although I never thought I would still only be halfway to my goal of a 100k bankroll two years after I started this, I am not really upset with myself.

Here's what I am proud of:

I have kept my tilt in control and have not spewed off my bankroll playing in cash games over my head when I am in the midst of downswings hoping to chase my losses.

I have practiced good Bankroll Management and have looked for backing when I need it so that I can play in games that I know I am +EV in and give me the best shot of making huge money but I just can't afford to play on my own dime at the moment.

I have made and exceeded the monthly withdrawals that my wife and I have agreed upon and have still been able to (gradually) increase my bankroll.

I made a WSOP final table.

I have become an instructor on an up and coming poker instructional site.

I have not donked off my roll.

This is what I still need to work on:

volume, volume, and more volume. I am a lazy mofo. The more I play, the more I make - and yet I still find ways not to play. I can't help but think that if I had put in the volume I am capable of, that my bankroll would already be at the 100k point.

If I can continue to grow and play as well as I have these last two years AND I actually put in some significant volume I believe that my next two years can be even better than these last two. Here's to making that happen...

2 comments:

Brick said...

Thank you for taking the time to maintain a blog and good luck in the future!

darwin said...

hmmm... i still think that you're living a dream :) plus, you don't have to bust it as a beginning attorney!