Vegas Time

Well I am off today to L.A. to spend a couple of days with my fam before heading off to Vegas on Monday. Last year, I was raring to go as it was my first WSOP experience. This year I am a mixed bag of emotions. I am definitely excited that I have the opportunity to play over 10 events for the whole month of June and I feel that I am playing very well and am due for a big score, so hopefully I can come home with the bankroll a little fatter.

I am also a little hesitant because being away for a whole month will be emotionally draining and I am starting to stress a little but about my dwindling bankroll especially as unexpected life expenses (Chula's surgery, air conditioner being fixed, etc.) keep popping up. One big score and all that stress is relieved though. So here's hoping for a good WSOP.

I am bringing my wife's laptop and the place I rented has WiFi so I hope to be updating this pretty regularly. Wish me luck.

Almost perfect poker

I got 4th in the $30 rebuy and FT bubbled the Sniper when I lost a race and then took a bad beat with QQ < AQ to go out in 10th. I made one semi-spewy bluff at the Final Table of the rebuy, but if it worked it would have been stellar. I really am playing good - thought I might get rewarded tonight and although a positive night is nothing to gripe about, I still had thoughts of winning both tourneys outright and digging myself out of my monthly hole. Oh well.

Tomorrow I take Chula to get her stitches out, and then I need to finish cleaning up the house. I will probably play one last time on Wednesday before I head out to L.A. on my way to Vegas.

Still shaking my head

Wow the downswing continues. My yearly ROI has plummetted from 86% on April 13th to 24% now over around 300 tourneys. Meh - so much for volume being the answer. The crazy thing is I feel so good about my game but am starting to doubt myself even though I really can't find many mistakes when I review my HHs. I feel like I am starting to press when I get a stack - but then when I back off and tell myself to be patient I never win the races I need. I am going to put a full session in tomorrow and then I might play on like Wednesday next week, but other than that I will not be playing again until Vegas just to take a mental break from the game and to get the house in order before I leave.

I need to race better

Sigh. I got deepish in the quarter million when AK lost to 88 on a K8xA board. I just can't win the big races when I need them. After getting a decent stack after I finally sucked out on someone, my KK ran into AA, my nut flush + A over draw bricked against top pair, and then my AK hand knocked me out. It's got to turn at some point. The agonizing thing is that as I get deep in these mofos I start to think that tonight is the night it will turn around - and I just keep getting my hopes repeatedly dashed. Tonights final table would have gotten me out of the hole for the month and winning would have basically set me up for my goals for the year - when it's snatched away with a hand that you think is likely ahead it just hurts. I'm taking tomorrow off and then I'll be back at it this weekend.

Maybe I talk too much about anklegrabbing

So I decided to allow ads onto this blog because I figured if it works, free money is never a bad thing and if it doesn't work, then who cares.

Supposedly the ads are chosen through some sort of program that "reads" your blog. So the fact that the first ad is now about anal fissure treatment just made me laugh because that's what I feel I need after getting reamed every session.

A sliver of hope

I actually final tabled the Sniper tourney last night and got 4th for a positive day. I know I should be happy with that result, but I am not. I was actaully pretty frustrated. I had a ginormous stack and got involved with the table luckbox/idiot who had the second biggest stack when we were down to 4 players and just could not win a race late. I had Ah7h and my retard opp had 8sTs on a Th9h2x flop and he couldn't fold to my all-in raise with top pair 8 kicker and the board bricked out for me. So that hand decimated me and then I couldn't win a last race to try and get back in it and out I was in 4th. I am fine with how I played, since winning that hand locks up the tourney for me. But 4th doesn't get me out of the hole for this month, and 1st would have, so that of course was what I was thinking of as I went to sleep last night.

More Multiaccounting Drama

One of the top MTTers, Dan "Wretchy" Martin, has been outed for mutliaccounting and banned for a couple of months on both PokerStars and FullTilt. I have to admit that the more these types of stories come out, I don't really feel angry or outraged - I just feel old. I mean, let's face it, the vast majority of online players are young males, and that has always been a pretty prolific target group of weasels. Does it surprise me that young guys, who are playing a largely anonymous game will try and cheat if they can? No. Does it remind me once again that I am an old fart in a young man's game? Yes. I am playing this game for a living because I like making my own hours and I actually enjoy the game when it is not crapping down my throat. But most of these kids who are playing are doing it because it is an easy way to make decent money and with little expenses they can live a "balla" lifestyle. So does it surprise me that these kids will try and take every advantage they can? Absolutely not.

What does surprise me is that once they are caught, the most common reaction is for the cheater to come out and make a post excusing his behavior on some well-known poker forum. The excuses have been "it was my grandma's account," "it was my girlfriend's account," etc. but the one common theme is that the cheater's rarely apologize. Instead they try to excuse their behavior by saying "everyone does it." Again, given that the ones who are doing this are young, immature kids, it shouldn't surprise me that this is their response, but it does. I've done plenty of stupid crap, even cheated a couple of times on tests at school - but if I was ever caught, my reaction to lie or excuse my behavior ended when I was in middle school. By the time I was in college I was man enough to say - oops, I fucked up - give me your punishment.

Anyhoo, poker is still going poorly. Tonight was particularly bad. I was going to give it a break - but I want to get my 200 tourneys in for the month. So I keep grinding, and keep suffering.

Chula's home

She actually seems to be in less pain this time than last time. She is keeping her conehead on so I am just not going to bother taking it off for now.

Poker is continuing to go poorly although I feel I am playing mistake free.

Chula update

She had her re-surgery yesterday and I get to pick her up this afternoon. I just feel so bad for her. If this time is like last time, she is in lots of pain these next few days and she looks pathetic with her shaved ass for a good 6 weeks. They put in a heavier gage suture this time, so hopefully it holds. If it doesn't she is just going to be 3-legged.

Pokerwise I made yet another final two tables yesterday only to get knocked out by a guy who made a retardo bad call of my 20 BB reshove w/9To and got there against my AQ. Obviously I want him to make that call there, but it woulda been nicer if I had actually held.

Starting to pull my hair out

I am playing really really good poker and just can't get the run good going in any way whatsoever. I got deepish in the 75k tonight on Tilt after clawing my way back from ruin early when my 2 pair got counterfeited without ever getting AK, KK, or QQ, the entire tourney and the only time I got AA was early on. So I got deep even without cards, but at some point you need to win a flip or you need a hand to hold up to get a stack. And I just can't do that lately.... ever. And it's eating away at me.

I start to look at the other tables when there are 5 table or less and I can't help but think, well if I can FINALLY get another top 3 score here I will actually be back in the black for the month. If I can FINALLY win one of these nightly big tourneys I will actually be way up. And then it just doesn't happen.

Imagine if you did your job perfectly and as a result your boss took money from you - well that's what is happening to me day after day lately.

The added stress of chula getting resurgerized tomorrow and I am leaving for Vegas now in just a couple of weeks isn't helping either. I am just so strung out right now but there really isn't anything to do except keep playing and hope for the best.

I think reading this thing must be as fun as going to the dentist, so I am not going to post about poker again until I finally break through and take something down. So if the posts on here are few and far between that simply means I am continuing to grab my ankles but don't think you want to keep hearing about it.

pobre chula take 2

chula has been sing all four legs when she walks slowly but not when she goes at any pace. It turns out the suture they put in her knee is either broken or stretched out so they want to do the surgery over again. None of us are really looking forward to that. Not only the cost - another $2k, but just how pathetic she is recovering. The whole vet saying she should be back running and jumping when she recovers is also not that reassuring this time around since it didn't happen the first time.

We have scheduled her surgery for Thursday and we'll just see how we feel on Wednesday I guess.

So close yet so siggggghhhhhhh

Super dejected. I couldn't help but think I might actually get a top 3 score in a Sunday Major. But the run good just couldn't get me there and out in 12th in the Mulligan on FullTilt. I am concentrating on just playing mistake free poker and I think I played that tourney as well as I possibly could. Siiiiggggghhhhh.

You can't help but go through some what if scenario when you get that deep and just miss. But I'll honestly go berserk if I focus on that.

Tomorrow I take Chula to the vet for a progress check on her leg. So if I play it will only be a night session.

Warning - bitch post ahead

I am just so frustrated with poker right now it's hard to describe. I just can't seem to catch a break. Feels like every single time I lose it is because of a bad beat or a cooler. Feels like every single time I make a move versus an aggressive opp he actually wakes up with a hand. Feels like every single time I get AA everyone either folds or I get cracked. Quite simply, it feels like poo.

So I take a deep breath. I check my records and I still have the same bankroll that I did in January. I have made enough that I have made my monthly withdrawals and set aside enough so that I can go to Vegas for the WSOP next month. My ROI although drastically lowered is still ok at just under 40% and just needs one decent score to get back above 50%. Breeeeeaaaaaatttttthhhhhheeeeeee.

Tomorrow is another day. Rinse, cycle, repeat.

Day off

Since yesterday was an off day I decided to make today my day off. Mowed the lawn, gonna clean the house a bit, take a bike ride, grill some burgers, watch Survivor.

I'll be back at it tomorrow.

off day

I actually made quite a few mistakes today. There was definitely quite a bit of anklegrabbing going on again but I also spewed in spots where I just didn't need to spew or called in spots where I felt I was beat but just couldn't fold an overpair.

I am going to go for a bikeride tomorrow and if I get back in time I'll play my aft session if not, I won't.

some light

I got 3rd in the $55 20k on Tilt today. Even it was a little disappointing though since I took a very bad beat 3 handed which cost me at least $1k. It was nice to get another final table though and hopefully this is just the start of a nice little heater.

tough stretch

I am in the midst of a 3 week downswing. And my mind is starting to play tricks on me. I start questioning whether it is bad luck, variance, or whether I am playing poorly. So then I start concentrating on just playing mistake free poker. But then of course, whenever I lose it is due to a bad beat and I start bemoaning my luck. So then I start getting away from the mindset I want to be in and I begin questioning whether it is my play or my luck that is hindering me and the cycle continues.

But when I look at my HHs, I see no glaring holes. I am playing good, solid poker, and just not getting my big hands to hold. And each day that I don't win, it eats at me a little more. I need my run good back. Please. Pretty please with sugar on top. One time! Hold!

I am getting tired of sighing.

Sigh

I took 3 days off and just hung out with my wife on Friday and Saturday. We went and saw the new movie with Russel Crowe where he plays a newspaper guy and rented 7 pounds. Unfortunately it has been rainy here so we didn't do too much active stuff. But it was still nice to just chill out.

So when I started playing today my mind was in a real good spot and I played really really well. But I didn't cash any of the 14 tourneys I entered today. And that's just draining. My last tourney of the day was me bubbling in 47th when 45 got paid. But of the 14 tourneys that I busted I really only made 2 mistakes and both of them were minor. Everything else was just coolers or bad beats.

I'll be back at it tomorrow. And I am due...