No mas

Pretty spectacularly anklegrabbing night. I lost a FT stack in the 75k w/AQ vs JK all-in pre and then got daggered on an AxJx....K board. Lost KK to AA in the QuarterMillion and then lost another FT stack with JJ versus AK vs AT in the $30 rebuy. Definitely frustrating getting so close to big money and then have it snatched from my grasp. I have had more 10th-20th place finishes these last two weeks than I have ever had. So yeah, boo hoo.

I'm taking tomorrow through Sat off. Hopefully the run good will hit me square in the face on Sunday.

200 tourneys

Well for the first time this year I got my 200 tourneys in for a month. But I also am getting drained - especially since I just can't make it to a final table. Every player who has put any time into this game goes through the same thing - those times when you can't win any races, go card dead at the times when you can't do anything except play your cards, get bad beats, and then when you finally do wake up with a decent hand like JJ/QQ you run into KK. And I am going through that right now.

Big picture I am still up for this month and for the year. But big pictures are often different than expectations. I was hoping to make 20k this month and next and just feel little pressure for the World Series. Instead it looks like I will have to grind it out and just hope for the best. My attitude definitely sucks right now so I am going to take tomorrow day off as well as Thurs night through Sat. The one bright light is that I am continuing to play very very well. So it's just a matter of time...

no relief

I played flawlessly today. But sometimes you need some love and I didn't get any. I ft bubbled the $26 KO and that was pretty much it for the day. Every other tourney was simply getting bad beat or losing a race - I didn't even get coolered today. I am 12 tourneys away from hitting my 200 for the month but I am also getting sick of losing. So tomorrow I will probably take off or maybe I'll just play 1 session a day for the next couple of days.

Downswing continues

I got 14th in the $50k yesterday but have not cashed anything else. I did review some HHs and didn't see anything bad so I'll just continue to ride this wave out.

Tomorrow is a big poker day so hopefully things will turn around.

A Disclaimer I Should Have Posted Long Ago

I got a friendly e-mail reminder from a reader of this blog that a common theme of this blog is how poorly I take beats and downswings and how much I let variance affect me.

I could try and defend my many postings regarding my anklegrabbings and my frustrations. But I won't. Because it is true - I am often a whiny little biyatch.

So here's the disclaimer - this blog has had and will continue to have quite a few posts regarding my frustrations with poker. I understand, as a poker player, that all poker players experience variance and that many players (who are the bulk of the readers of this blog) enjoy reading about being frustrated with poker as much as they enjoy hearing about bad beats. So if that's not your cup of tea - this is not the blog for you.

I have tried to make this blog as honest as possible. And the truth of the matter, as an MTT player, is that I will have losing days much more often than I will winning ones. And losing frustrates me. And my frustrations will find their way onto this blog.

Ok with that disclaimer aside I also always have to explain that although I hate the variance and the downswings, I still love what I am doing. If I can continue to keep paying our bills and maintaining our lifestyle by playing poker I will continue to be a very happy guy. I realize how fortunate I am to work when I want to work. I realize that if I had a "real job" I would not be able to simply take today off so that I can relax, cook a nice meal, and watch Survivor with my wife. I realize that I am living out what was just a dream of mine 2-3 years ago by going to the World Series this year and playing almost an entire series (next year I hope to add the main event as well.) But I can realize all of this and still turn into the monopoly throwing kid that unfortunately is still a big part of me when I lose.

FML

I don't like writing bitchy/whinky posts but often that is how I feel at the end of a bad day at the tables. I made a few small mistakes today but mostly just ran like ass. I didn't cash in any of the 13 tourneys I played today. I dropped over $500 in the 50 rebuy losing 4 straight races during the rebuy hour, money bubbled the $75k, quarter million, $55 FO, and $33 rebuy. I feel like any time I have any sort of decent run I am doomed to grab my ankles and I hate it. I hate losing. I hate it.

I know taking a step back I am having and can still have a very profitable month and year. But with the money I have taken out for vegas, plus the monthly withdrawal I will soon have to make, plus this week's downswing and it just adds pressure. Anyhoo - I'll be back at it tomorrow.

Weekend Off

It was really nice here this weekend and Charmian was actually off so we went biking/rollerblading and did a bit of a spring cleanup.

I am back at it today and back to anklegrabbing but I am playing well.

I also have had a couple of investors back out or reduce their shares for the WSOP so I am back to trying to sell it out. I am confident I will, but it is a bit frustrating. At this point I just want to get all the money taken care of and set aside in my savings account so I can just be squared away and ready to leave at the end of next month, stress and hassle free.

WSOP Update

I reduced the bankroll goal to $30k and it just sold out today. So I am starting to get pumped. I feel that my game is at a really good place right now. If this next month a half go decently at all online I will have a healthy bankroll to come home to no matter what which will also take a lot of pressure off.

On the pokerfront I am back to grabbing my ankles, but it is much easier to grab them after the little heater I've been on.

On the hacker update - the guy who tried to hack me continues to visit this blog, but hasn't made any more attempts to get into my online accounts - so whatever.

Nice little heater

I got 4th in a $26 tourney on Tilt last night and I won the $130 Sniper on UB tonight.

It is at these points that I often go into stop playing mode cuz I just want to sit on my new found largess but I need to keep hammering away and let variance do what variance is going to do.

I do feel really good about my game in general tho.

Some Aussie tried to hack me

So after my session ended last night, I checked my e-mail and saw that I got some automated message from FullTilt which was sending me a temporary password.

I of course thought "wtf I didn't request a new or temporary password - what is going on here?" So I sent security a message asking wtf is going on.

Anyhoo, I have changed my passwords and am now using a new secret e-mail and my funds are still intact so I feel better. But when I was checking up on it, I looked at my log-in history on Tilt and found that the following IP address from Australia attempted and failed to login to my account early this morning.

121.209.209.239

So if any of you computer wizards can do something with this and/or have any further advice for me, I'd appreciate it.

**Update**

The same person from Sydney who tried to hack me has also visited this blog today. So obviously he knows that I am on to him. I will let him know that even though FullTilt has supposedly "taken appropriate action" against him, I have taken the extra measures of changing my passwords and my e-mail accounts as well.

Got to release the ankles

I thought it was going to be another anklegrabbing night but I played really well and finally the run good hit for me in the 75k on Fulltilt where I got 2nd place.

I am taking tomorrow and Saturday off and will be back at it on Sunday.

Evening ankle grabbing

I kept getting bad beat/coolered in most of my tourneys but I did get deep in the quarter million on Stars only to get in a big pot against an active player with a stack close to the bubble.

He had been raising close to 20% of hands and raised again from late position when I picked up pocket tens. We both had over 50 BBs. So I 3 bet instead of smooth call and he 4 bet somewhat small. So it finally came down to whether or not I thought I was ahead of his range and I thought he was using his bigger stack enough of the time and might be 4 betting light there since I had already 3-bet him twice previously that I shoved.

He had JJ and called and the board came out a beautiful J44Tx. So I bubbled and felt like crap.

I definitely would have made the money if I had folded there but I don't know how bad my play was. It is really hard to define someone's range until you have played lots and lots of hands against him/her. So often we will run into the high end of that person's range and think we made a mistake when actually we made the correct play and just got unlucky.

Afternoon off

Our shower has been a major pain in the ass - the little screws that attach to the knob to the cold water and to the diverter (to switch it from bath to shower) both stripped so for awhile we were using pliers to turn the cold on and off. Today I finally bit the bullet and went and figured out how to take the knobs off and then went and bought new valves for the cold water and the diverter.

I am like the worst fixer upper person ever. My dad is a major tinkerer and he used to always get me to join him when I was growing up, but that kind of stuff never interested me. I always was more interested in sports and games - anything competitive - and just never really cared about how things worked.

So of course I always end up taking hours where it would take other people minutes. But it is does feel good to fix these things myself rather than pay a plumber to come do it.

Anyhoo, the new knobs are on and I figured out where our water main is which is a good thing as well. The only thing left is to put some silicone on to make sure the faucets actually stick to the tile - but that can be left for later.

On the poker front - I have been playing well and getting reamed. I do tend to feel that the pokergods make you suffer for a decent stretch before they finally say ok enough is enough now lets let chardrian win every flip and suck out a couple times in a tourney to even things out. So I'm just waiting for that to happen again. Tonight is probably the biggest weekday night for me because both stars and UB have tourneys with biger buyins. So I wouldn't mind it if the run good happened in either of those tourneys.

Sunday Bloody Sunday

I played mistake free but ran like ass.

The only tourney I made the money in was the 2nd Chance on Stars where I took two bad beats. In both of these hands I was over a 60% favorite and in both cases I lost. I win both those hands and I have an easy top ten stack and like my chances to at least make the final 2 tables.

I know that my run good will finally come again, but I still expect it to come everytime I play and get frustrated when it doesn't.

One of my buds did get 2nd in the $50k on Tilt for a very nice score so that was nice to watch.

Tomorrow is another day...

WSOP Update

I just booked my lodging for the WSOP for the month of June, so I am definitely going. The bankroll is not totally defined yet but I will have enough to play in pretty much every event leading up to the Main Event that I want to.

So I am getting excited. But I also realize that one week in, it will definitely be a grind and being away from home will start getting old. At least I have a place with a kitchen this time so I will be able to eat my own food and not be forced into eating out for every meal.

On the coaching front, both of my students are doing well but one of them is just on a total heater - he was won 2 tourneys on Stars in the last two days. I am playing a full schedule today so hopefully some of his run good can rub off on me.

FT Time

I got 3rd in the Sniper on UB for a decent little cash and it's always nice to make a final table.

For the second night in a row my "protege" also got to the final two tables of a big entry tourney on stars. The first night he had two horrible beats, and tonight he ran into the top range of easily the most agg player at the table in the 70k. I so wanted a big score for him that it hurt to come up short.

frustrated

I got 12th in the 50k on Tilt when my AA was cracked by 99. I also got semideep in both the quartermillion on stars and the sniper on UB when my AA was cracked again. I think I let the bad beats get to me because I ended up calling off my stack with JKo in the Quartermillion when I was over 20 BBs deep in a situation where I needed 44% equity and probably didnt have it.

It's that last hand that will bother me the most - I don't like getting bad beats, but at least I know I played well; but when I lose in a situation where I didn't need to put my chips at risk and I do anyways - that's when I really get frustrated. I may not have won the tourney if I had played that hand better, but at least I would have given myself a shot.

Oh well, tomorrow is another day.